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Is it wrong to stay with somebody because you don't want your babies to not have both parents around?

I love the father to my 2 boys, as " the father to my boys" but I don't feel the same anymore. He recently left for 9days to go have fun, camping n fishing. I didn't miss him, honestly i didn't miss him at all. It was actually nice to not have to deal with him! My boys are 18mnth, and 2mnths, he has never fed, changed, cared for, or watched either of them. I just recently has decided that the oldest is "fun". Our youngest cries when he holds him, he has held him 6 times since birth, believe me i counted! I don't like being sad anymore, i don't like feeling like there is something or someone better out there!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:33 AM on Jun. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • if he's not actively parenting then he's not much of a father to your boys

    Answer by staciandababy at 1:34 AM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • I think its worse to stay with each other "for the kids", they can pick up on your tension and even begin to resent the "bad" parent.
    You should do what makes you happy, and in turn your kids will be happy.

    Answer by summerm at 1:44 AM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • Didn't you just ask this and the boys were 3 months and 19 months? Did you not like what we said then? Good grief if he makes you this unhappy then leave the man. Get on with your life. Quit eating yourself up wondering what to do. Do something. Even if you leave and you think it's the wrong thing to do the kids are small enough to not give a rat's butt. Figure it out before they grow up and hate you for not giving them a happy home.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:48 AM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • ok Answered at 1:48 AM on Jun. 12, 2009 by: Anonymous

    no i didn't just post this saying my children where a different age! This is the first time i have asked this. I did post it a s a poll but that was before i found this link. jeez don't be so freak'n rude. I got on here to ask for help not for people like you to be so rude and accuse me of something!

    Answer by loving_mommy123 at 2:04 AM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • Well, anon :48 was blunt...but correct.

    Yes, it's wrong to stay with someone just so a child can have both parents. Especially when one parent isn't all that involved. You're not giving them any benefit.

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:42 AM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • sometimes it's better to have someone there then to be alone or maybe take a day for yourself go shopping with your girlfriends and have a girls night out and see what's out there, maybe you'll meet someone you like, best of luck to you

    Answer by looovemybabies at 6:48 AM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • Don't be worried about your children not having both parents there, because obvioulsy he is not that involved anyway. You have to take care of you. No one else will. If your not feeling the same about this man anymore than you need to tell him. He doesn't spend much time with the children now, so maybe if you move on and he only has certain days he can see them, than maybe that would be the best quality time your children will have with him. It is better than him being there and not spending time with them and you. Do what feels right for you and your children. Both parents in the same house doesn't make it easier for the children if your not happy. They can sense it.

    Answer by RMott at 7:18 AM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • I think it is time for you to sit him down and talk to him. Let him know that it just is not working out. Also since he is not an active parent- what good is it to stay with him if he is not doing his share of the parenting? I think you and the boys would be alot happier and better off without him. Staying because of the children is never a good idea- belive me the kids can sense it and know something is 'not right'. (I know my sis and I did). I wish you luck and hope all works out for you!

    Answer by MizLee at 10:31 AM on Jun. 12, 2009

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