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how can i get my daugter to stop crying at school

my daughter is 4 yrs old and is always crying and saying she dont like school when i leave her the teacher says she is fine but i worry all day and it stresses me out as i cant shut off do you think it could just be attention or would there be somrthing wrong any help would be appreciated

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Asked by pinklady471 at 7:07 AM on Jun. 12, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (7)
  • It's probably just an attention thing, however, you may try watching her at school when she doesn't know you are there, that way you can find out if the teacher is being mean or if another child is picking on her.

    Answer by kustomkrochet at 7:22 AM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • Oh I'm so sorry that has to be hard. I never experienced that. I agree with the above and if none of those things apply just talk to her. I bet she is done crying 5 minutes after you are gone.


    Answer by Christine0813 at 7:42 AM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • Talk to the teacher and ask her if you can bring your daughter a few minutes early so they can have a few minutes together and ask the teacher if she can give her a little extra attention or be a helper. A good teacher will understand this. Maybe if she gets a little more comfortable with the teacher it might help. Does she know any of the other kids in the class. Maybe you can go to lunch with one of the other kids in the class and mom so that your daughter has a friend. It will go away, but it is probably because she is not confident in her surroundings yet.

    Answer by momjs at 7:48 AM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • Teacher here: I can tell you that the teacher is probably being truthful. Lots of times we see children making a fuss when the parent is there, as soon as the parent leaves and the child sees their begging and crying didnt get what they wanted, they start playing.

    Ask if one of the teachers could take a picture on their phone and send it to you. One showing her playing and happy. Most people have cell phones and send things all lthe time. If not, leave your camera, ask them to take a couple of pictures of her playing after you leave.

    In reality, there is not much you can do anyways. Talk to your dd, tell her you will be back soon. Kiss her and leave. Do not linger at the school. It just makes the good bye worse b/c she thinks she may have a chance at keeping you there.


    Answer by mom2twobabes at 8:36 AM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • your daughter is doing for you and ONLY you, if she has no problems during the day, then you have no reason to worry. When you drop her off, don't stall, don't tell her your sorry, just give her a hug and kiss, tell her you love her and leave, that's all you need to do and she will get over it

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 9:22 AM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • I used to have my own daycare. And I had a child who would cry when Mom dropped him off. Never cried when Dad dropped him off. He cried because he got a reaction out of mom and made mom feel guilty and she would always try to make up for it by bringing him a toy. less than 5 minutes after she pulled out of the driveway he would stop and start playing with his friends laughing and having fun. I finally taped him for her because she was stressing out so much, once she saw him on tape she stopped feeling guilty and the crying stopped because his alligator tears no longer had any effect on mom


    Answer by justgrape723 at 10:05 AM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • I have taught preschool for over 20 years. The previous posts are correct, they most always calm down and stop crying within 5 minutes of the parents leaving. The BEST THING that you can do is to drop your child off at the classroom door, give a kiss/hug and LEAVE. The longer you hang around and talk the worse it is. When you linger, you give your child the sense that you don't think that they can handle your leaving. It builds up their anxiety. There is a great book called, "The Kissing Hand" which deals with this very problem and may help you. It is a child's picture book. I know it is hard for parents, but I guarantee that things will go better if you do not hang around when you do drop off.

    Answer by LovetoTeach247 at 11:00 AM on Jun. 13, 2009

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