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How can I get my month old daughter more comfortable staying alone with Dad?

The few times I have left my husband alone with my month old daughter, she has cried hysterically. I leave him breast milk to give her and she calms down when he's feeding her, but then pipes up again once she's done. What can we do to make her more comfortable with him while I am away? He gets so discouraged and feels like a failure as a father. I try to tell him it's because I am with her all day and the source of all her food and comfort when he's at work. I'm afraid day care will be a nightmare if we can't get her more calm. Any input would be much appreciated.

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semac98

Asked by semac98 at 12:58 PM on Jun. 12, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (4)
  • My kids were the same way when they were newborn. They only wanted Mama. It's normal since, as you said, you are the one taking care of her all day. Unfortunately, a lot of dads get discourages really easily. They think the baby doesn't like them, etc. The first thing to consider is whether your husband is calm himself, or whether he gets nervous/frustrated when the baby is upset. Babies can smell fear. lol. If he can stay calm then the baby is also more likely to. Maybe you should encourage your husband to spend more time caring for your daughter while you're home, so she gets used to both of you meeting her needs. When he comes home from work at night, let him take over for an hour or two if he's willing. Let him do it his way, even if you know that you could calm her down quickly and he seems to be getting nowhere. He'll figure out what works for him eventually. It's tough to do, but worth it! Good luck!
    MamaApril2

    Answer by MamaApril2 at 1:12 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • When hes at home he needs to hold her and talk to her often! And you are right especially if you breastfeed her shes uest to you! When you breastfeed you and the baby have a closer bond any way! When hes home he really needs to get involved even if she cries! She is only a month old and will grow a bond with daddy to! Just keep encouraging him and she will get uset to her daddy!! Good luck honey it will work out!!

    SD777

    Answer by SD777 at 1:17 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • Your little one probably sense's his tension or failure that he's feeling. he NEEDS to figure out how to make it work and calm down a little bit. I also heard that sometimes it helps if he wears something of yours so the scene she's smelling is calming to her, like you? is he patient ? do you think he's gertting upset when you are away when she crys and he cant' calm her?
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 1:36 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • Give the baby something that smells like you to keep next to them.
    Sarah W.

    Answer by Sarah W. at 3:55 AM on Nov. 17, 2011

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