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18 year old senior?? Help

Let me give you some background. I am being forced to move from a large city(where my daughter has gone to school since 6th grade). I have relocated with my son(4), but dad is still in the city with my daughter. We had planned to remain like this until she graduates next May. But I really need my husband here with me because of bad health on my part, My daughter turns 18 on June 27th, but is only a senior. She doesn't have a car, job or drivers license. I am afraid she will end up dropping out. She is pretty lazy in school and at home. I want her to move her and finish school, but she wants to stay with a friend and her mom. The mom likes to party and lets her daughter stay out late and do just about anything. Can I force her to move here, since she is still in high school? Am I still responsible if she doesn't go to school? Any advice would be great...

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TTTTina

Asked by TTTTina at 2:36 PM on Jun. 12, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Once an 18 year old, forever an adult. You can't force to do anything because she is now a grown person. Therefore, your husband is not forced to stay with her and make sure she graduates high school. I uunderstand your concern for your daughter, but an adult will do whatever he/she wants.

    Miss-Baby-Baker

    Answer by Miss-Baby-Baker at 2:44 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • no you are not responsible once she turns 18. If she screws up her life by dropping out then she has to deal with the consequences. You might tell her that part!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:45 PM on Jun. 12, 2009


  • You also might want to tell her that if she chooses to live with that woman her mom, that you won't be providing for her needs. Tell her she would be responsible for anything she needs and wants. If you say she's lazy, doesn't have a job or anything, she might be thinking you will still be giving her money. 

    Miss-Baby-Baker

    Answer by Miss-Baby-Baker at 2:48 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • Once she turns 18 you can not force her to move or go to school. 18 is legally grown.


    If she decides to stay there after she is 18..Just tell her your not financially responsible for her any more.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 2:53 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • She is the architect of her own future, she is 18. You should make clear that part of becoming an adult is to take care of herself, since she is mature enough to decide where to live, she should be mature enough to figure out how to pay her way. There is an alternative, she can come to live with you and finish high school and get into college, enroll in the military, get a scholarship, what have not or she can stay there and waste her time, it's up to her.
    bebita

    Answer by bebita at 3:16 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • Since she turns 18 in June, I would let this summer be her trial run of how to cope with no financial support from Mom and Dad. It may be more than worth it to her (once she gets a taste of no cell phone money, no makeup money, no computer, no cd money etc) to move in with you and finish school. Its time for some serious "tough love" before its too late! I had an 18 yo try and pull that on her parents by staying here with my adult teens. I told her that she would have to pay rent, utilities and car insurance etc ... she soon ran back home to a grateful Mom & Dad. Try speaking to the "party mom" and see if she would be willing to put the pressure on your daughter about that same stuff and help her see the benefits of moving with you and finishing school! You may be surprised at how helpful a fellow Mom can be if you let her know the situation!

    All be Best,
    MV
    MysteryVamp

    Answer by MysteryVamp at 8:42 AM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • Move her today, just pack up her stuff and move. 18 or not she's is a dependent and really has no say in the matter now does she.
    Waxing_Lyrical

    Answer by Waxing_Lyrical at 4:39 AM on Jun. 21, 2009

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