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Why do I feel terrible?

I know I shouldn't but, I do. We have always had money to do pretty much what we wanted within reason. Now we don't. I was laid off and things are pretty tight. My son doesn't ask for much and he just asked for money to go to a theme park and I had to say no. I have been telling him that things are going to be tight for a while so he knows what is going on. He is a good boy and I would love to treat him but I just cant and now I feel terrible.

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dillonsma

Asked by dillonsma at 4:01 PM on Jun. 12, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 5 (81 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • You could offer him the solution of finding a way to work for the money. If people pay him to mow lawns or paint or stuff like that, he could earn his own money to go.
    kemclaughlin

    Answer by kemclaughlin at 4:04 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • He is doing some work this summer painting fences in our condo complex. He will be making some money and wants an advance and we just can do it. Thanks for your thoughts.
    dillonsma

    Answer by dillonsma at 4:09 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • maybe ontop of painting fences he could walk dogs for people for extra money
    vgiron

    Answer by vgiron at 4:12 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • It always makes us feel terrible to say no. We want for our kids to have great experiences in life, like the amusement park. But we also have to allow them the learning experience of disappointment, as bad as that feels to us. You can't compromise your family's necessities for extras for him at this time.

    Two additional lessons that are built in to this experience are family good over individual's wants, and delayed gratification. If he wants to go bad enough in the future, he'll find a way to make the money. Stick to your "no," and don't pander or apologize excessively after explaining. It will be okay and he will eventually understand and accept. And give yourself a break. You are a good parent, even though you can't be as generous as you once were right now.
    juliebug104

    Answer by juliebug104 at 4:44 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • Welsome to parenthood. My son is soon to be 13 and has never been to an amusement park or on a vacation and I don't see either happening anytime soon. He has my love and attention and we do other fun things that aren't as expensive. He is fine and your son will be too.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 5:48 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • Money doesn't make a happy home. I know it's hard to not feel like your letting your son down by not being able to allow him to do things that require money- I've felt that gult before as well.

    Some of the best times we've had as a family were the simple ones that didn't cost a penny and some of the best lessons that my kids have learned or the moments that bring us closer required nothing but our attention and time. Your attention, time and love is all that he needs :-)
    MrsHart6

    Answer by MrsHart6 at 2:17 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

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