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How many of you like to hurt your hubbys feeling when fighting?

Today i have seen my friend put her hubby down and it wasn't funny. i asked her what she wants from him and she says i want him to realize i am tired of him not feeling like he cares. do most of you mommies feel like that too?

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:12 PM on Jun. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • I do my best NEVER to hurt DH's feelings when we are fighting. ...of course, if we are fighting then chances are it happens or it already has. But i never intentionally say anything to hurt him. And he has the same respect for me.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 4:16 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • I try to never hurt my husband's pride or injure his ego when we have a disagreement. I'm sure I've failed many times and have probably done it, but I always try to just address the behavior and never to attack his person. Most women do not realize that men have very tender feelings and that their greatest need from their wives is respect. Most men do not go around intentionally hurting their wives. They simply do not know how to properly relate to them. They can be taught, but it is not done by being mean and hateful or by intentionally demeaning them. Men usually relate to their wives based on the example that was set before them when they were growing up. They don't chitchat with each other like we female types do. Your friend was wrong to have purposefully dressed her husband down, and she has probably done great damage to her marriage.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:19 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • I've done it but immediately apologized. Once it was out my mouth I couldn't take it back but I told him I didn't mean it. I told him it just spewed out in anger and that wasn't a good excuse but it was truth. Then we had sex. I love that part! I notice he gets turned on by my groveling so I have gotten good at it! lol

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:20 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • we dont really fight. that was when we first getting used to living together.

    Answer by moki1984 at 4:23 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • I try now too, although of course i want too im not going to lie You just have the urge to make him feel worse then you do. Its not a good thing.. but... at least im honest.

    Answer by mommyofAurora at 4:28 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • I try not*

    Answer by mommyofAurora at 4:28 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • I REALLY try hard to not hit below the belt. He has hit me below the belt before, & yeah....just to hurt my feelings. It's also like real cheap shots, like bringing up an old boyfriend that i was with before i even met him, & him trying to make a suggestion that i was a slut....HELLO!!!! That is laughable to me, especially since I've barely slept with anyone but him. He feels horrible when I'm more grown up than he, is & don't return the rude comments. He knows that i don't take cheap shots. If we're going to have an argument, get to the friggen point & lets get over it. I don't have time for petty games, pointing fingers & name calling. It's all very stupid to me. Afterwards he feels like a total idiot that he would stoop that low. But, he always needs to release his frustration, & sometimes it's with a rude blow. Very childish, i know. Luckily we almost never fight.


    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:29 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • I don't try to make him feel bad, and I think I've gotten better about it than I even used to be. I realize that coming to an understanding is ultimately going to make me feel better than taking a cheap shot. I've never been one to name call or blindly insult...I very much believe that the truth stings way more than just maybe in a way, in telling the truth I feel like I'm hitting him harder than if I was being mean. I'm not sure where that falls in the "trying to be mean." I'll say something like "what you said was inappropriate and out of line- I would never expect my husband to treat me that way" and I think that gets him more than just saying he's an ass or something stupid. But now I rarely do that- we're usually pretty good with communication and I'll just say "that hurt my feelings" instead of laying it on a little thick.

    Answer by mrs_pulley at 4:51 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • i dont go out of my way to hurt dh's feelings in a fight. although i will admit that i have intentionally hurt his feelings before and he has admittedly done the same. but that is something we both acknowledged and now try to avoid doing it as best as possible. the way i see it, you married eachother, so you loved eachother, why go out of your way to further hinder your relationship rather than work towards the greater good and fix it.

    Answer by BekaBug at 5:05 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • My husband would have to have feelings in order to get them hurt.

    Answer by sweetpea532 at 5:28 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

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