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(Spinoff Abortion Guilt ?) For those brave women who faced unplanned pregnancy:

If you have any regrets, which do you regret more: Having gotten pregnant to begin with or the actual decision you made to deal with it?

What would you tell a young woman to help her with the part you regret? Would you advise her not to have sex? How to have sex safely? How to handle a decision? Which decision to make? What would your advice be to your younger self both before and after? Do you think the advice would have helped?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:13 PM on Jun. 12, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (11)
  • no kid realizes what being pregnant is all about. they need to show videos in school of pregnancy, birth, newborn care and breastfeeding.
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 4:14 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • I regret getting pregnant to begin with, totally! I love my daughter so much, I really, truly do. But I didn't want her this young. I'm only 20, and I had been with my fiance for only a year when I found out I was pregnant.

    If I had to give ONE piece of advice to young women who think the 'pull-out' method is okay, it would be: USE A FUCKING CONDOM, YOU IDIOT!
    caitxrawks

    Answer by caitxrawks at 4:16 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • I don't have any regrets. The choices I made then shaped who I am now, so definitely don't regret it. I have learned a lot since then. :)

    As for educating a young woman I would never tell someone to *wait* until marriage to have sex, since I don't believe in that at all. I would educate them about sex, std's, pregnancy, birth, all the things that come with taking care of a child, or the other options IF they did get pregnant and didn't want to be a mom. I would never tell them the choice to make, that is something they would need to soul search.

    I knew all these things in my situation, but I was under the influence of drugs and didn't have my best judgment at the time. Not that it makes it right, but I knew the risks of sex and it still happened.
    celticreverie

    Answer by celticreverie at 4:33 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • I don't regret getting pregnant one bit. My little boy has helped me grow up and mature into the young woman I am today--without him, I'd be nowhere near where I am today.

    The ONLY thing you can do as far as "young" people having sex, is informing them about the choice they're making--about using PROTECTION and/or birthcontrol, about STD's, getting pregnant, being pregnant, labor & delivery, taking care of a newborn & the money & the time involved...and inform them of the CHOICES they have IF/WHEN they infact ever do get pregnant...if "young" people are going to decide to have sex...they're going to have sex.
    carliemarie1015

    Answer by carliemarie1015 at 4:49 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • I'm currently pregnant with my first and it was an absolute shock.I'm consider it fate that this happened because we always used protection. We found out a month after my 21st birthday but luckily my relationship is really good, I have a job and an apartment, and both families are thrilled. I don't have any regrets but sometimes when I think about how my life used to be compared to what it will be it does make me a little sad.

    Honestly, I'm not sure if thee's a certain way to teach young people about safe sex. IMO, A lot of people think they will always be right and will always be safe. It's up to them to make the smart decision.
    msnicole88

    Answer by msnicole88 at 4:57 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • i would tell kids not to be so stupid.... being i got pregnant at 17.... due to the drinking i did and then the poor choices i made to have unprotected sex... i know its my fault my life is how it is, and that is how it is with all teenage paretns... no one should take there dumb mistakes on there child... its not the childs fault they are here its the parents... but honestly i thank god for my son everyday... i look back to how i was before i got pregnant and think about where i would be without my son... and oh boy am i glad i had him he changed my whole life and because of him im a much better person!!!... i would never recommend to anyone to get pregnant in highschool, its not fun, and its hard as hell to find a good job when you are doing everything on your own with not a soul to help you!!
    mommy2b17MV

    Answer by mommy2b17MV at 5:21 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • To whoever posted this question:


    What a mature and sensitive way to ask such a difficult quesion. I have to give you kudos.


    clapping

    casperskitty

    Answer by casperskitty at 5:47 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • I would tell them not to have sex because with sex comes consequences and those consequences are life changing and getting an abortion isnt the answer. If your going to take on the responsibilty of having sex then one should take on the responsibilty of taking care of a baby that follows. I see a baby as a miracle a gift that god is entrusting you with. Things happen for a reason we may not know all the anwers but thats life. You live and you learn. You shouldnt ever regret having a child a child happened for a reason whether or not you wanted it it happened and no child would want to hear a mother or father say that they weren't wanted and that they regret having them. If you chose that you don't want the baby give it up to someone who will. To many people who can't have kids would love to have the ones thats not wanted by young mothers who made some mistakes.Noone is prefect just make the right choice
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:03 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • I just wish I could show young women how serious it is. We have no trouble getting kids to buy cds or want cars. We have less trouble getting them to go to school than we do teaching them that sex leads to pregnancy. Idk why so many young people think it's not going to happen to them. Amen about the pull out method not being effective but I don't think all of them are idiots for hoping it does. We shove sex under the door in reference to it's ability to create new life but we glorify it in it's ability to physically satisfy. Who wouldn't take the chance? I think saying they are immature is a bit of a cop out. We get kids to be mature about saving the planet and sports, I think we could get them to think maturely about the abilities their bodies have to spread disease and create babies...

    CooksWife

    Answer by CooksWife at 6:15 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • My only advice to women is not to have sex with someone you can't see yourself seeing and being friendly with for at least the next 19 years...
    kitten_shuga

    Answer by kitten_shuga at 6:59 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

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