Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

money question

I have a great new boyfriend for the past 12 months with a lovely 2 year old boy. The problem is the BM has 100% custody, gets 33% of my man's income but we have the child 3-5 days a week. The BM is now pregnant with another man's kid and quit her job. MY man can't afford anything becasue he's supporting her but he claims its all for his son. This woman has 2 men supporting her. She gets free childcare free college tuition, food stamps. I told my man he is being taking advantage of and he was hurt and angry with me. What can I do? Should I end the relationship now? I feel like he lets her make all the decisions and we just go along with her every wish.

Answer Question

Asked by parterag at 5:28 PM on Jun. 12, 2009 in Money & Work

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Depending on how serious your relationship is, maybe you can ask to see his court documents. Go online and look at the guidelines for child support. If he is way over the guidelines in what he gives her, then offer to help him through a support modification.
    Don't be so concerned with her, you're sounding jealous. That will be very destructive to your psyche and eventually your relationship.
    Remember the child was part of the package you came into. If you can not accept that, you should probably leave the relationship.

    Answer by EireLass at 5:34 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • If it were me I would just let it drop if you love him hes going to do what he thinks is best what I dont get is if she has full custody why do yall have him so much seems like yall have full custody. and shes leaching. tough call

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:20 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • I would ask him to file for full custody. Tell him that you need to be able to know that if anything happens and the mother can't be found that you would be able to care for him legally. If you are living with the father and he has full costody you will be. I would also tell him that the 33% of his income should be going in to his child and that as long as he is paying her and you have the child most of the time it's not. Don't come at it in a manner which will make him defensive. Just make it seem as if you are looking out for the child and not bashing the ex... Men think on a practical level not an emotional one, so appeal to that side of him and don't use her actions against her. No man wants to hear he's being taken advantage of, that's an "attack" on their manhood... Even if that's not how it's meant.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 7:30 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • Babymamma drama is never worth it dump him now. He can try to fight her in court but judges are usually mamma biased and he will lose and have to pay more even if he has his son 90% of the time. It's not worth it. Maybe you and him can mett again in 20 years if hopefully he doesn't get another babbymamma.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:54 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • Whatever your decision is, it must be based on what is best for YOUR child(ren)

    Answer by rkoloms at 7:41 AM on Jun. 13, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.