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What would you do if your boss made "funny" comments about your DH being deployed?

so, i was at work a couple of nights ago, and it was after closing time so we were all talking as we were setting the alarm to the store. we were talking about my DH being in the AF and they were all asking me pretty normal questions. THEN my BOSS cracks out what he thinks is a joke-- "so where is your husband going to be spending most of his time? iraq or afganistan?" i about shit my pants. THAT IS NOT FUNNY! it pisses me off sometimes when people don't think before they let some dumb ass comment like that come out of their mouth. how would you handle that? say something?


Asked by Harmony0501 at 6:08 PM on Jun. 12, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (15)
  • I'm an honest and upfront person, I would tell anybody co-worker, boss or person on the street, "I don't feel comfortable about people talking or making jokes about my personal life, if you have any problems with that we're welcome to talk about it, however I will not budge in the fact that I do not want any comments or talk about my husband, children or family made; work stays at work and home-life stays at home".

    I also wouldn't bring any personal information or talk about my home-life while at work, but this is the type of person I am. When I get asked about my kids or husband I tell them that they're fine while keeping my eyes on work and ignoring their inquiring stares, if pushed further I let people know that I'm more interested in getting work done and flash a polite smile... if the persons too dense to get that then they've got problems. If I don't wish to share my personal life then it's not their business to pry.

    Answer by Knightquester at 6:54 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • I would have gotten up and stopped having the conversation. If he would ask what was wrong I would tell him his comment was inappropriate and to please be more careful in the future. Thats a very touchy subject. Its hard because civilians don't FULLY understand the extent of what military families go through.

    Answer by marinewifey25 at 6:15 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • I would've said where he'd be stationed and I would have said something about how it will impact your life and you are hoping he won't fucking DIE over there... and how people should support families of the soldiers whether they agree with the war or not.. That was awful of him to think that was something funny...

    Answer by momofkearra at 6:16 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • I don't get why you're so pissed. He was asking a question

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:19 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • I'm sorry. I'm missing the joke. Wouldn't that be a normal question to ask if someone were deployed?

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:29 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • okay.... it's not a joke. maybe i should have said this in my OP... he isn't deployed. he is finishing tech school. he knew that (the boss) i will edit the post so i am more clear.

    Answer by Harmony0501 at 6:30 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • sorry, I didn't read your answer to that question before I posted my other post. I live near Eglin Air Force base and ppl ask it all the time. I'm just not seeing why you are getting so upset. We DO ask moms where their sons are being sent when going off to war. I think you may be a bit over sensitive.

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:30 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • Let's just forget the editing, and focus on the problem. You think your boss showed poor judgment in something he said to you. It was offensive to you. So do what you would do to anyone who said something that offended you. Tell him it offended you and to not do it again as you didn't appreciate it.

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:34 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • i got upset because he said it as a joke. he laughed when he said it. it was not a question like "so where is your husband having to get deployed to?" it was like "hahaha so he's in the military? does he like guns? so where is he spending most of his time at? iraq or afganistan" maybe i shouldn't have asked. maybe you had to be there to understand what i am saying. it was by NO means "just" a question. and he has done it more than once. it's not like a one time thing. it's dumb questions about "playing in the sand" and blah blah blah. haven't you ever had someone make a mockery out of your life? that is what it feels like. like i said, it wasn't just me when it happend... the other three people there jaws dropped and everyone got quite. it wasn't "just asking" i should have explained more but for some reason it won't let me edit this question.

    Answer by Harmony0501 at 6:36 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • and i have said something... it makes no difference. i feel like if i say something else it will put my job in danger.... i don't kow, i guess i am just blowing off steam.

    Answer by Harmony0501 at 6:37 PM on Jun. 12, 2009