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I cannot stand my child, I've tried to wait it out, but I don't love him because thats what I feel, I love him because I feel like I have to. The day he was born, I didn't get overwhelmed with joy, I didn't cry, I didn't smile, I had no emotion what-so-ever. I feel bad about it, has this ever happened to anyone? Does this go away? What do I do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:34 PM on Jun. 12, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (16)
  • You should seek proffesional help IMMEDIATLEY! There is hope and help for you.....Good luck momma :)
    jokermom

    Answer by jokermom at 7:37 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • First off, How old is your child? Could it be just PPD? Second, if you don't love your child you can always give it up for adoption so that it can be raised by someone who does?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:37 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • sounds like postpartum depression. Talk to a pastor, the babies father, your mother, anyone. If you still feel like this try giving the baby up for adoption. But I do hope that talking helps. If you need to talk, you can talk with me.
    Glickstein

    Answer by Glickstein at 7:38 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • sometimes people just can't love others but what I have read God has made LOVE a choice. So you can either choose to love this child or not. You went and decided to have the baby that was your choice then to love that baby. It wouldn't be fair to the baby if you backed out before the baby had a choice to have you as a loving parent or not. Get some counseling so that you can talk to some one a work through this just in case okay!
    Bugsmommy1908

    Answer by Bugsmommy1908 at 7:38 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • It sounds like you are suffering from postpartum depression, hun. There's nothing to be ashamed about. Some moms go through it and others don't...just like some get morning sickness and some don't. If you ever need to talk I'm here for you. Us mommies have to stick together. Mention it to your doctor at your next appointment. =) Hang in there.
    Krystal.Ingalls

    Answer by Krystal.Ingalls at 7:41 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • It's not that I flat out DON'T LOVE HIM, I love him but not like most parents love their kids... I don't look at him and think "there is no possible way I could love you anymore than I already do". I feel like I'm raising a little brother or something, he just annoys me and gets on my LAST nerve, but I watch out for him and do everything I'm suppose to. He's really a happy healthy baby and I don't beat him or anything like that, I just am easily frustrated ALL the time and an emotional wreck... hes 15 months.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:43 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • honestly I agree with some of the others..it could be PPD. How old is your baby? To be honest, I didn't have that overwhelming love when I had my baby either. I felt nothing at all. Everyone said it was because she was in the hospital so long, but then she came home and still nothing. I took care of her and I held her and I played with her, not because I wanted to but because I knew it was what was expected of me and it was the right thing to do. Honestly, it wasn't until she was about 3ish that it started turning around. THREE!!!! She just turned four. I feel pretty shameful for it. However it was that time I started seeking therapy for depression and anxiety that had gotten really bad. Turns out that PPD if left untreated doesn't just eventually go away. It sticks with you for a long time. I've gotten help mostly in the form of therapy I hate pills and what a difference its made for me. CONT.....

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:43 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • Conc.... I can't imagine my life with out my daughter. I love her more than anything. I wish I'd gotten help sooner, I can't believe I wasted so many years just going through the motions. I urge you to seek help to. Start out by going to your primary care provider and mention to him/her that you think you might have PPD and take it from there. you don't want to waste all the time I did

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:45 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • I can say I have been where you are. My son had severe colic, and he literally screamed ALL the time for the first 4 mos of his life. I have never felt so guilty, destitute, frustrated, numb, and sad. I couldn't bond with my son, and he just screamed relentlessly. I resented him and wondered if having a baby it was the biggest mistake of my life. How could I love something that just cried and screamed and refused to be comforted my his own mother? But, it got better a little bit at a time. Now, I love him more than life itself and he is more important to me than anything else on this earth. No one said it was easy to be a mother. You learn a lot as you go. Things will get better... Seek someone you can talk to. Take some time for yourself to recharge. See your doctor. Do what it takes. Don't give up- your child needs you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:49 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • You know what? I looked at this post because of the title you put. I figured someone must be really sad to put that as a title. And second, I'm sure that feeling guilty about this makes things worse. I'm sure you aren't the only one that feels this way. Many that do DON'T continue to take care of their babies. Third, I am so very relieved that I haven't seen any negative, bashing responses! I do agree that it sounds like PPD. Though it may go beyond that. I don't know how you felt about getting pregnant, how you felt during the pregnancy. But you should talk to someone about this. And please, if you don't like the first, or second, or even third person, find someone you CAN talk to. It will make a world of difference. I wish you the best, and send you hugs!!
    Buffie95

    Answer by Buffie95 at 8:11 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

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