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when to tell your kids?

my husband adopted my two oldest children in nov of 2007. their bio dad just didn't care about them, and my husband has always been the one to take care of them. they are 4 and 3 now. when do you tell them? we were thinking around maybe 6 or 7? i don't want to wait too long. what do you tell them? i know it will be sensitive. i don't want to upset them by saying their real dad didn't want them

 
jennalms

Asked by jennalms at 8:30 PM on Jun. 12, 2009 in Adoption

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Answers (7)
  • do you two have any kids together?! theres a really sweet way to just sit them down and tell them the truth...i think 6 or 7 would be great...just tell them that your hubby loved them sooo much he wanted to be their daddy, and that their bio daddy, not sure how to break down that biological idea...but just tell them that he had to go away...and your husband stepped in and wanted to love them soooo much because they were sooo special...however you word it make sure they feel good about themselves and their dad now! i def. wouldnt bad mouth the bio dad even though he deserves it.....
    sweetstkissez22

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 8:34 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • Well, being a child of adoption myself.......i was told too late in my opinion (around the age of 8 if i remember correctly). I believe that nowadays children mature alot faster and should be told from the time they can conversate. I was told that my mother was very young and was not able to take proper care of a baby. But my situation was different than yours, I was left on my adopted parents doorstep late one night! Long story, but turned out great! I feel so blessed to have had the parents I had.
    truthteller0722

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 8:37 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • I would start telling them now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:44 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • I have adopted both my children and it has always been in our talks. It is not hidden and I adopted them at birth. I think you should start talking about it now...but that's just my opinion.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:46 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • yes, we have a 2 yr old daughter together and i am 3 months pregnant with baby number 4.
    jennalms

    Answer by jennalms at 8:49 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • Start talking with them know don't wait until they are older they can understand know.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 8:55 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • there are so many circumstances nowadays where their peer group will be children of divorced families. Remarriage is also extremely common so I think you should start introducing adoption language now at this age. I like the comment about keeping it basic, their first daddy wasn't able to be there but their now daddy loves them so very much. Are you prepared that at some point they may want to find their first father?
    PortAngeles1969

    Answer by PortAngeles1969 at 8:56 PM on Jun. 12, 2009