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i need help....

for the past 3 months or so, I have noticed that I have been different. More moody, I will lash out at my husband (whom I love dearly....). Here lately, I just can't stand him. It seems like I do everything myself. We have a 6 month old together and I love her dearly too. and would never do anything to harm her. But I have been having horrible thoughts. when she cries all i can think of is her stopping. ive gotten to the point that i have thought about ending my life because i cant take it anymore. I would never EVER harm my daughter. but Im reaching my breaking point with myself. My husband and i do nothing but fight. he knows something is wrong with me and never tried to support or help me. he just gets in my face and tells me that its my fault because i wont do anything about it. and the only reason i go to him is because i need him to be there for me like he's suppose to be. how do i make him understand that i need him????

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:30 PM on Jun. 12, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (8)
  • sounds like classic PP....you need to call your doc and schedule an appointment ASAP!!! that is nothing to play with or take lightly...women do crazy things when they feel they are at their witts end...and since youve identified the fact you feel different...take the steps to make the change..i went through that feeling for awhile..and it was scary to myself..i started writing and i was telling my SO about it..so he tried to help more..and it slowly got better....GL hun
    sweetstkissez22

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 9:37 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • Guys get just as frustrated with new babies as new moms do, sounds like he is stressed out by the situation too. I would suggest that you try to clearly communicate your needs, and be receptive to his as well. But it also sounds like you have PPD. You should seek your dr's help with the depression, so that things don't continue to get more difficult for you.
    airadan

    Answer by airadan at 9:37 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • First things first, you have PPD...and you need to talk to your doctor! There are diff levels of depression after having a baby, I had the EXACT same feelings as you!! And my son is now 1..I wish I had of got on some med's when he was younger, it's gone now...kinda lol, but I would have enjoyed his younger year's so much more, if I had of gotten help with my depression. How you feel is totally normal too...but the thoughts you have are a clear indication that you are suffering from PPD..don't be ashamed, or anything...just tell your Doc..and ask to have your hormone levels checked as well, that could be more what it is....you have to get a Doc's opinion!
    take care, and hope you feel better soon.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:37 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • It seems like everyone I know was thinking divorce around 6 mo. New babies are very stressful and your hormones haven't evened out yet. You need to calm down and communicate with your husband. Be very clear about what it is that he can do to help you and hold him to it. I gave my husband Saturday mornings...He gets up with the baby, does breakfast, plays, puts her down for her morning nap, etc. Since he's been doing this, he has felt much more empowered to jump in at other times during the week. A lot of times husbands just feel clueless and powerless. You need to tell him what to do...he will NOT figure it out on his own.

    Contact a support group or a support line and get yourself into counseling. If nothing else - it will be a nice scheduled break from your hubby and the baby!
    ANGIE409

    Answer by ANGIE409 at 9:39 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • 1-800-448-3000

    This is the national suicide hotline. If you ever think about suicide, call them. And get to your doctor as soon as possible about the feelings you have about your baby. You need help. For your sake and the sake of your family , please get it. Bless you, dear lady, I hope that you soon feel much better.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:40 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • First, I completely understand what you are going through because I too went through similar things. Second, it's possible to have PPD up to 1 year after giving birth, so simply going to your doctor could really help you. Third, nobody can prepare you for all of the stresses that becoming a mother does to you. You really get to know yourself at such a deeper level. My personal experience is similar to yours. I felt like I needed more help from my husband. I was doing everything except working. Chores, taking care of the baby, paying the bills, etc...It was very overwhelming because I didn't expect it to be so hard. It's not that it's mentally hard or even physically hard...it's that you have no control over anything in your life anymore and that is hard to get used to. After two years of fighting, I finally came to the realization that my dh had unsaid expectations that if he was the one to make the money, then I was the one..
    KaceesMom

    Answer by KaceesMom at 9:40 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • cont....that needed to take care of the family and house. He really felt like he was contributing equally. It's very normal to feel like you feel...it is a HUGE adjustment especially if you stay home with your child. You no longer have any control over your schedule and many other things. Go to the doctor and then try not to be so hard on yourself....feel free to message me if you want to talk.
    KaceesMom

    Answer by KaceesMom at 9:43 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • It does sound like post partum depression. I would say to contact your dr and tell him whats going on. There are alot of moms who go through this. http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/postpartum-depression
    this website my help you understand it a little better.
    vgiron

    Answer by vgiron at 10:00 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

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