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How can I get him to fall asleep on his own?

My son will sleep in his crib in his own room all night long but I have to put him to sleep. I am fixin' to have another baby boy in August and Gauge will be 1 on July 7th, so I know I need to do something.
Theres been a lot of changes going on in his life and not small ones, its things like his Dad and I no longer live together etc. I know things are bothering him but I want to teach him he's ok to go to sleep on his own.
I tried letting him cry it out and he just gets REALLY upset. Like, bad upset. Im not a mean mom, but I can handle tears- I just know his different cries. It starts out mad, then upset, then sad and then just scared.
I feel bad bc I know hes scared of me not coming back.
How can I do this the right way?


Asked by MommaWoods at 10:52 PM on Jun. 12, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 13 (1,103 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I agree with Ati 13. During the first year, it is so important to build a relationship of trust and security with your child. This question would probably be best answered by your baby's doctor. When my oldest daughter was a baby, she suggested waiting until the she was a year old to start teaching her to put herself to sleep. Before one, a nightly routine, such as bathtime, book and then rocked to sleep is good. At one, you can continue the routine, and then put the baby in the crib, sit next to the crib, stare away from the baby and don't say a word. If the baby gets up, lay the baby back down and return to where you were sitting. Every night, sit further away, until eventually you are out of the room. Doctors usually say it takes four to seven days until they will stop crying and get used to the routine, if you are consistent. During the routine, keep reaffirming that they will be going to bed soon. Hope this helps!

    Answer by Mommy2mygirlsHC at 1:19 AM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • sounds like my dd... her daddy deployed and she went through that... TWO DIFFERENT times. I now sit in her room with her, read about 5-10 different books (door is shut so she can't get out) and then I help her turn the light off. I sit with her and rock her until her eyes get droopy then explain how it's bedtime... i will be back to check on her later, and I will get her in the morning. She was 8 months old when he deployed.. she is now 19 months old and she might cry for a few minutes, but goes to sleep. I know what you mean about the crying stages!!! Sounds JUST like hers and I tried doing the CIO method as well but would check on her ever 30 min (if it was just a mad cry) and it would take 3 HOURS of trying to get her to sleep and failing!!! The new routine has worked SOO much better!!! GL!

    Answer by 07lilmama1108 at 11:01 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • lay him down when you know he's tired. let him cry for about 15 minutes, go in there, tell him you love him, but it's bed time, give him a kiss, lay him down, leave the room. wait another 15 minutes, if he's still crying, go in there, give him a kiss, lay him down, but don't say anything. since you know his cries, you'll know if he's hurt, sick, or if there is something wrong with him besides the fact that he's mad, upset, sad. keep doing this until he's out. it may take a while, but it's worth it in the end, especially if you're due soon. my dh is deployed, left when my dd was 5 months. so yeah, i know what you're going through. i did this with my daughter when she was 6 months, only it was in the middle of the night, (she's been putting herself to sleep since 4wks),still woke up for that midnight feeding. it took a while, but i got it out of her. GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:03 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • I had a colicy baby. My doctor said if they cry for hours, they cry for hours. Just keep putting him in the crib. They'll get used to it.

    Make sure they are well fed. Try to have a nightly/daily routine.


    Answer by Amberoz at 11:25 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • Please don't let your baby cry. I know that is the conventional wisdom of the day, but how would you feel if you depended on someone else to keep you alive and safe and make you feel loved and they ignored you when you told them you needed something? And then just kept ignoring you until you gave up, sad and defeated? It would break your heart and make you not trust that person to meet your needs. In the end you will only make your baby more clingy, and later in life it's quite possible that they will have attachment issues.

    Get the book No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. She has some really great suggestions for getting babies to sleep and to sleep on their own without making them feel like you're abandoning them.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 12:40 AM on Jun. 13, 2009