Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

my husband and i aren't on good terms, he put his hands on me twice in my own mothers house, we don't live together, my grandmother doesn't like him at all, he comes over and sees our daughter on our pourch & he's not allowed to come inside or take her off anywhere, & he does give me money its just that im uneasy with him taking off with my daughter is that wrong of me?

I do love him, and i've told him i forgive him to a certain extent that he's not going to get another chance to touch me again, much less take it out on our child, he doesn't live with me, i live at home with my mother and grandmother and he's giving me the altermatum that i have to chose him or my family, he wants us to get a place together, and be a family and i just don't know what to do, can someone please help me?? im like worn out ....seriously.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:29 AM on Jun. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • No, no, no, no, no, no, NO! It's absolutely not wrong of you at all to feel uneasy with him taking your daughter. I am in this same position, and while I've forgiven my husband to the extent of being civil with him for the sake of our child, she isn't allowed to stay with him for any extended periods of time, especially over night. He's never done anything to her, but he has to me, and that alone scares me enough to worry for my own and my daughter's safety. You are right in feeling uncomfortable with it. AND, if he is trying to make you choose between him and your family, there is something wrong. Seriously wrong. No one should be asking you to choose between a family who loves and cares for you and themselves, especially when they are abusing you, in whatever way. PLEASE be careful and don't put yourself in ANY situation you are not comfortable with.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:38 AM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • Nothing you're feeling is wrong. I wouldn't trust him even on the porch.

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:45 AM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • GOD NO. Do not get involved with him again. Hon, go get yourself a GOOD ATTORNEY and never let the child alone with him EVER. Get a restraining order as well. DO NOT let him near you or the child.!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:46 AM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • Ditto, ditto, and NOT put yourself in the position to allow him to hurt you or your child. You are definitely right in not trusting him and feeling uneasy about the situation. I know it first hand. If you ever want to talk, please send me a message!

    Answer by sophiafarris at 12:48 AM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • He sounds like he is not a very good person, abuse is NOT OK!! I wouldn't even be giving this thought....I would choose my family any day of the year! The abuse will not stop as long as you keep going back, he will continue to do it! Do you want your daughter to grow up thinking it is normal for a man to treat a woman that way?? I know that you don't... As for letting him visit his daughter, I would want him to get some anger management or something to help him control his rage...because children are definitely good at pushing buttons, and who knows at what point your DD will push his...For now the porch visits will due, PLEASE DO NOT GIVE THAT MAN ANY MORE CHANCES. Good Luck hun!

    Answer by pamelajqs at 12:52 AM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • listen to your mom and grandmother. Take the money from him and tell him thanks but he's gotta go. Get a divorce and find a man who doesn't hit.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:54 AM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • if he'll hit you, whats stopping him from hitting your daughter

    Answer by Mamaof2boys0709 at 6:21 AM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • i just wanted to say that i really appreciate everyting everyone has said, and i have taken it into consideration come monday i am going to get temporarily full custody of my child, and take it from there, its sucks cause we haven't even been married a year and he's already put his hands on me twice, ya kno? and well we've been together for four years, but its time to let go, and thats what ima do....

    Answer by kelliekailei at 11:01 AM on Jun. 13, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.