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If you are being abused, stalked, taken advantage of, or cheated on??

Do you really have to ask if you should stay? Seriously??


Asked by Anonymous at 12:49 AM on Jun. 13, 2009 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I honestly didn't feel like I could do or deserved any better. I had been demoralized to a point where I didn't matter in my own head. It started out as some minor control issues, then emotional abuse, then verbal abuse, then he started with physical. If my husband hadn't shown me that what my ex was doing wasn't right, I probably would still be with him. I actually felt like I was treated like shit because I was shit. I didn't matter and he was going easy on me. The way an abuser works is crazy. They isolate you from everything you can trust and count on, all your family and friends and everything familiar so you have nothing to run to. Its a sick game, with no winner.

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 3:29 AM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • The asking isn't because someone really doesn't know the answer, it's because having reassurance that your instinct is right can be extremely helpful in getting out of a bad situation. I've been in those situations more then once, and I KNEW that I needed to go...I didn't really need someone to tell me the answer...but having the reassurances are what gets you through...especially because nine times out of ten, the person you are dealing with is someone YOU really DO care for, whether they are a bad person or not. It's not easy to let go of someone you care about, even when they aren't treating you right. So hearing someone else say the same things you are thinking is definitely a boost of confidence and help to get you where you need to be. That's just my opinion, anyway.

    Answer by sophiafarris at 12:55 AM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • Nope! Staying is enabling

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:55 AM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • Is this question from another question? just curious because I was gone writing the longest fudge question ever!!!! I think I needed reassurance about returning fudge.

    Answer by Gigi1969 at 1:00 AM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • I don't think people want to believe someone they love and who they thought loved them is really an asshole, and need to hear it emphatically from others who are not involved to help them deal with the reality of it all. That, and as a pp said, the reassurance that you are not crazy, that your instinct is right, is also good to have when making the step to get the asshole out of your life.

    Answer by LiliM at 1:06 AM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • I mean, I'm going through it right now with my husband and it DEFINITELY helps me through to know that I'm not totally crazy and unrealistic!

    Answer by sophiafarris at 1:11 AM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • Still, if he cheated on your, abused you, taken advantage of, etc.. why stay? I don't get it. Move on, end it and get over it. It's not something you even need to consider. WHY? I simply do not understand. I was being taken advantage of.... I left... plain and simple. There are way too many good people out there.. I didn't need that crap and neither do you. Why would you think you are crazy? It's him.. leave him. I don't get it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:24 AM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • I don't mean staying or going....I'm gone. I've already left. Like I said, it's not making the choice as to whether I should stay with him or not...I already know the answer. That's my point....that even when you know the answer, the reassurance that you are doing the right thing and that you aren't the only one out there is comforting and helpful.

    Answer by sophiafarris at 1:35 AM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • I haven't had any of those done to me except cheated on. I too was once a cheater early on in my marriage. I knew he was cheating and was told i was crazy. So the reasurance from someone else is helpful. I chose to stay after praying for over an hour in my kitchen. We were married 4 yrs when all this happened. I prayed and prayed. I asked God to either let me forgive him and move on, or let me let go of him cuz I was tired. After that hour my body fell to the floor and I was at peace and calm. I chose to forgive. We worked on our marriage and just celebrated our 10 yr. anniversary. Things are 100 times better than when we first got married. So to question whether you should stay or not? For me it was a question for God to answer. That's just my belief and am in no way pushing that on other people. Now if he cheats again, we are done. I can forgive once but more than that...don't think so.

    Answer by picazo at 2:21 AM on Jun. 13, 2009