Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I need an honest opinion

So my husband is in Korea and while he is gone I work part time at Walmart. He wants me to save money, so idealy we were to put all of my checks into savings and save out of his checks what we could after bills were paid. Well anyway, he just keeps spending money like crazy. I told him please watch your spending until I have all the bills paid and then I can tell you what the balance is so we don't have to dip into savings. Well so what does he do? Goes and pulls money out of savings. That money is not to be touched unless it is an absolute emergency (which btw it was not) so my question is, would it be wrong of me to open a seperate savings account so I will be able to save? It's not like I want to hide money from him, but he clearly is going to keep doing this as long as he had access.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:09 AM on Jun. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • I would definitely tell him you are considering it then maybe it will speak to him. I don't believe in being dishonest in a marriage. I get burned with dishonesty much in my marriage and it really hurts because I don't do anything to deserve being lied to. Your husband just has a problem with controlling his expenditures and needs a wake up call... a little help.

    Answer by AngelPuff1012 at 11:19 AM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • Go for it.

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 11:22 AM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • Dishonesty is not right, but if he told you to save and then he continues to spend, thats not right either. Opening a separate account and not saying anything would solve some of that problem. When he comes home, he might be pleasantly surprised. You should not be the only one who abides by his decision.

    Answer by teacherspet_too at 11:23 AM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • Save your own money in a seperate account but tell him about it and what HE'S doing wrong

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:41 AM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • I don't know if you heard about the floods that happend last year in Iowa but there was a couple I knew that lost everything in this flood! house memmories furniture. the only way that they survived in the end was that she hid money from her husband for over 30 years!
    personally I dont like dishonesty but there are some times where not telling everything isnt so bad ether! these savings saved them so they could atleast buy a trailor to live the rest of their life in! they are already older.

    Answer by AlexesmommySam at 1:31 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • i agree with everyone here. dishonesty is wrong and u should never keep anything away from ur DH. talk to him first though ( i honestly think that u do need a seperate account, especially if you both don't agree with what to do with the money) and tell him what u want to do. he as a husband can't just straight out tell you no and u as an individual shouldn't have to ask permission to do something u feel is right. so talk to him and if u really wanna do it, then tell him. there's nothing wrong wth wanting good for the family and if it means opening ur own account to keep it away from ur DH than DO IT!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:27 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • Get your own account and although I do believe in being honest with your spouse I personally would consider not telling him about the account until you've reached your goal. Only because he clearly has issues with not being able to control himself and if you told him about it he would more than likely convince you to give him access to it and you would and would become a vicious circle of him taking. Been in this situation.

    Answer by ormom1977 at 2:42 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • man okay this is just me i would open and account and take all the money or at least half which would be urs out that way he can spent whatever he wants and u still got a back up maybe it will make him see when he is broke that he is doing wrong

    Answer by miss_nevin at 2:55 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • There is something about being enlisted and deployed overseas that does this to some men--I don't think they can help it. This is really not that unusual for servicemen to suffer. It's more common for those in combat areas, but also some in peacekeeping operations too. You do need to save some money though, and if he has access he will spend it. Tell him that you are opening a savings account and that you can't get the money out. Make sure that HE can't get to it until after he is home and acting responsibly again.


    Answer by pagan_mama at 3:54 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • It's just as much his money as it is yours. He should be able to spend what he wants as long as the bills are paid.

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 11:22 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.