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My therapist says to stay away from my family, what should I do?

Every therapist I've ever had since I was 9 yrs old has told me that my family especially my parents, who consist of my mother, who is a cold, frigid, biotch, who controls my father to the point where I don't even think he knows how to wipe his own a$$, and my father who can't formulate his own thoughts and opinions about anything(its always been ask your mother), he is completly brainwashed, my youngest sister who blames all of her therapy issues on things outside of my control that happened in my adolescence, my older sister who is too much like my selfish mother to make me remotely interested in having any relationship with her, and my other sister who is too wrapped up in her own life to care too much about mine. I want to maintain a relationship with these people on some level, but I don't know what to do since they are constantly causing me to relapse and have problems with stress, anxiety, and severe depression.

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dizzy77702

Asked by dizzy77702 at 11:42 AM on Jun. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Level 6 (106 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • We can't choose our family, but you could take some time away to get healthy. If any of these people care about you they will welcome you back into their lives. Maybe in a few years they will also grow past their issues. Get healthy.
    Farrahann

    Answer by Farrahann at 11:46 AM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • Whatever happened in your life to make you like this? Maybe it's you and not them. Do people outside your family cause you pain too?
    staceynoel

    Answer by staceynoel at 11:50 AM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • I think you need to be on some kind of anti depressent drug to help you. Maybe then you will get along better with them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 AM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • I think if you feel you need to stay away from your family than you should. You can't pick your family and sometimes their just toxic and you need to do whatever it is to get healthy or just live a happier life. Stress will always be a part of life and so will toxic people just stay away from people who bring you down and exercise or find something healthy or a hobby to deal with stress. Good luck!
    Angeleyez08

    Answer by Angeleyez08 at 11:59 AM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • You guys did read that more than 1 therapist has told her this. Some times people are messed up even if they are family.
    Farrahann

    Answer by Farrahann at 12:00 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • Sorry no advice...I would cut ties with them. I only want people in my life who contribute to it in a positive sense.

    They have nothing positive to offer.
    anetrnlov

    Answer by anetrnlov at 12:15 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • I know how you feel. some of the answers on here are mean. like uh stacynoel..come on now!! My family is the same...I have chosen to neither talk to my mother or father...they will only hurt me and I dont need that negativity in my life. I to have been to counseling for what they have done and still do...I dont need a therapist to tell me to cut them out of my life....I am done w them and i understand how hard it is to make that choice. Even though I do not talk to them...I always think of them..I will always love them but know it is best to not have them in my life
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 1:24 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • if ther is nothing else going on to help you mak this decision that u need to stay away from ur family than i say listen to ur body and ur therapist. There is nothingwrong with taking abreak from them. you can't force yourself into a relationship with people and u can't force them to either. i had the same situation with my cousins. but eventually when the anger and the hurt and the pain has passed than slowly u can regain control of yourself when u are around them, they will begin to see u more in a whole than what they presumed you to be and maybe you can even start some sort ofrelationship with them, even if it's little. but u need to give urself time to heal yourself before anything else.
    khmymommi

    Answer by khmymommi at 2:24 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • Move some distance away, like to a neighboring state, so they can't get to you on a daily or even weekly basis. Work on building friendships and relationships based on who YOU are and who YOU like, rather than tainted by them and their opinions. Talk to them on the phone when they call, even call them on a regular basis, but don't get into discussions about anything really important. Discuss the weather, what your dog did last week that was cute, whatever, superficial stuff. Build a life that that does not include them to any great degree. When you do see them at brief intervals of once or twice a year, be friendly, but not involved in their drama. It's probably the only way you will avoid being stifled by them.
    pagan_mama

    Answer by pagan_mama at 3:43 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • I've been at such a peaceful place in my life since my parents died and other family members who drive me nuts are in other states! Removing yourself from the chaos is a good thing. You can maintain....write letters! That works for me. I am in control and I don't have to read their's if I don't want. I can write them when not stressed or pressured. It's all good and on my terms.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:50 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

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