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I spoke to a lawyer .. what should I do?

My baby's father and I dated for about 7 years (since high school) and left me while I was early in my pregnancy. A few weeks after we broke up, he found someone else and proposed to her. Since they started dating, she has sent me threatening e-mails AND made him believe the baby isn't his. He changed his cell phone number shortly after proposing to his girlfriend. He was not present during the delivery, but did show up at the hospital the day after my angel was born. When he showed up, I finally got his new cell phone number. A week after my baby was born, he decided he wanted to do a DNA test, so we went and got it done and he paid for it. We haven't gotten the results, they should arrive sometime next week. Since his girlfriend threatened me I have insisted that she will NEVER be allowed around my child. Anyway, I told the lawyer I was thinking of moving out of state and he told me to go NOW before he tries to get visits.

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Asked by NOLAmommaKRYS at 2:30 PM on Jun. 13, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 15 (2,032 Credits)
Answers (52)
  • Well that's a pretty chity thing for a LAWYER to tell you. Why the hell you would deprive a child to his father because of his women? Better think long hard about this. I don't think you should.


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:34 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • I'd make sure to have copies of those emails and stuff, take a picture of a text for hard copy with another cell and email it to yourself so it won't self delete in your cell as a text.

    I'd wait until the paternity test comes in before doing any thing else aside from protecting yourself against her. That way you're proving you're respecting her and waiting to prove he's your baby's daddy. Hang in there, good for your for talking to a lawyer!! Be Strong MAMA!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:35 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • It doesn't seem like he'd be a very good influence on your child, considering how he's acting now. If you can afford it, I'd take your lawyer's advice and get out of there.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:36 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • I'd do what the lawyer said, you and your baby don't need to be in that environment.

    Answer by HolliBerry21 at 2:36 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • What did the lawyer say about keeping this woman away from your baby? I would think that since she threatened you you could use it against her and say you feel she may harm your baby and maybe get a restraining order against her for your baby. As for moving, if you'll be better off I say do it. He doesn't sound like a very good father anyway.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:37 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • If you move he can still get visitation. And the further away you are the more likely he will be to go after longer visits ( week at a time ) besides you don't want it to look like you're running off with your baby. If he wants to see the baby it most likely won't be overnight visits to begin with. I think you should talk to him and try to not worry so much about his girlfriend at the moment. I'm always a little sad to hear there are women out there like her she's making this a tough situation for everyone involved you, your baby, and the father. GL

    Answer by mizsaxton at 2:39 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • do what the lawyer says go now before any legal papers are doen cause once they are you are stuck unless they state you can move out of state . i made that mistake now its a huge fight just trying to see my son because his dad isnt even letting me have visits .

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:39 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • Just to shed some light on this for you, my sister was in the EXACT same situation. Her baby's father got a new girlfriend and that girlfriend would call and threaten my sister. Now, the judge granted SUPERVISED visitation for the father. And the supervisor of those visits............the girlfriend! My sister had no proof of the threats. I would do what the lawyer told you to do. But most importantly, I would do what my gut instinct told me. Wait and see if this guy will even fight for visits. It may come down to you being too far away for him to bother.

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 2:43 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • I would wait till the test comes back and it does prove that this child is his and then have your lawyer put in writing that if you want to move away that he said that would be fine. You are going to have to realize that this is his child to and if he wants to see his child then you better be ready to fight your case in court. Also f**k that girl that he is gonna marry one day she ain't nothing but jealous cause you have a piece of him and she doesn't. Do yourself a favor don't punish your child for her fathers short comings allow this child to know her father, your child doesn't have to know this women she has a right to know her father unless he is just straight scum and wants nothing to do with this child, then if that's the case go out and find yourself and child a good man that will love you both the way you should be loved and treated.


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:47 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • For Some Clarification:
    He insists that I cannot say anything about his girlfriend being around if they are married. So he went off and got married to her. She sent me text messages the day they got married saying stupid shit. I wanted him to be a part of her life because I know how it feels not have your father around. I didn't want that for my daughter. I have copies of all of the e-mails and text messages they have sent. He never tried to ask how she was doing for the entire pregnancy.
    The lawyer also stated that if I stay, he could call CPS and make false claims and sense he is the father, they will turn the baby over to him temporarily and who's to say he won't flee with my child. The more I think about it, the more I believe leaving will be the best thing to do even though I would feel terrible bcause I'd be leaving his sister behind and she is completely in love with this baby. It's very hard.

    Answer by NOLAmommaKRYS at 2:53 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

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