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I NEED HELP!!!

I am 24 and my husband is 21 and we have been married for 3 months. We both have really good jobs just got a new house and we are adopting my nephew which has been with us since me and my husband started dating. But, we constantly fight or somtimes don't get along. We really do love eac h other but we say things to hurt each other. Espcially me, I can't help my moods... I am bi-polar and somtimes that causes the arguments. I have lashed out at him not meaning too and somtimes he will take it. I don't know if he has gotten used to it because when I am pleasent with him he gets defensive. But this is the problem... My husband and my sister got into it begining of the year and he does NOT like m sister. my sister just recently sent him a sorry letter. He totally refused it and told me she was not allowed at our house and I couldn;t talk to her. I told him that I was not going to do that and he blew up!!!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:21 PM on Jun. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • We both got mad and then started aruging and agreed to get a divorce. and then he left. What should I do I need help comments and advice... not judgement. This is the man I wanted to be with for the rest of my life, I just need help making my marriage work.
    misindep09

    Answer by misindep09 at 5:24 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • so whats the original issue with him and ur sis,
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:24 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • I don't like my hubby's sister. She's a manipulative freaking bitch! You guys have no idea!! And she's not allowed in our home, but I will never forbid him from talking to her, it's his sister!! Even his mom hates me now because of it- but I'm done with the drama. He shouldn't prohibit you from talking to your sister- that's wrong. But it also depends on what she did to him. Good luck!
    SinCitiChick

    Answer by SinCitiChick at 5:24 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • maybe offering to go to therapy or see counselor. if you can afford it.
    Dom123123

    Answer by Dom123123 at 5:25 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • Is there anyone you dont like in his family??? Tell him theyre not allowed either see how he likes that...and tell him the problem is between him and ur sis not u and ur sis...tell him to forgive and move on!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:25 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • And honey, why would you post your question anonymously and then post a comment- un-annonymously.. lol..
    SinCitiChick

    Answer by SinCitiChick at 5:25 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • lol i just seen that... I like everyone in his family
    misindep09

    Answer by misindep09 at 5:30 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • she has tried to break us up
    misindep09

    Answer by misindep09 at 5:31 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • Have everyone calm down and talk when no one is upset. He wants you to side with him on this (acting as one). However, I think if you let him calm down and talk to him unemotionally he will see how unreasonable he is being. I always tell SO "I will do whatever you think is best....but if you look at things logically it seems to me that there might be another option and I'd like for you to consider it". Then I leave it alone. THEN he comes back and changes his mind and he thinks it is HIS idea. LOL Men are so silly. As long as you can make it look like his idea then he's a happy camper. He just wants to be king of his castle. We plant the seed of what we want, we water it, we walk away and let it take root then most men will reconsider and give us what we want which is usually something logical anyway. If they would just listen to us in the beginning we wouldn't have to go through all of this!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:36 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • My first question is are you treating your bipolar and undergoing any therapy? If not, consider it. That may help you with the fighting. As to the issue, I would sit down with him when he is calm and explain to him that while you completely understand his anger with your sister (even if you don't), that she is still your sister and you love her and that him asking you not to talk to or see her would be like her trying to break you two up (which she did - making him seem like her may make him rethink it). I would also tell him that you won't have her to the house, but you want to be able to talk to her and see her elsewhere. If you can get him to agree to that, eventually you can work on him for the rest. Since she apologized to him in the letter, she won't try to break you up anymore, once he realizes that, and sees that she's stopped, he may be more willing to let it go. Just give him some time, and don't push too hard.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 6:19 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

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