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i guess i just dont get it....

i am a twenty-one year old entrepuner who has started my own photography business. My business is taking off greatly; more then one would have expected. My sister is a business owner for an escort service, my brother molested me when I was four and he has borrowed without returning $30,000+! from my father, and my other brother literally lives off of my dad's money to the fullest advantage...they ar ein Disneyland right now! My point is I have a very good moral ridden family, a loving husband and I am only 21 and I have made my own business and dream happen! My father refuses to even look at my professional business website! He tries to blame it on "i hate the internet since I've been dealing with your brother's custody cases" but I've been doing this for about two years now, went pro about six months ago. Why is he doing this? I can't figure it out why he pushed me for so many years to be perfect and now I am happy and making

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Bugsmommy1908

Asked by Bugsmommy1908 at 5:58 PM on Jun. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Level 3 (23 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • .....a living for myself! he doesnt even care to look at me.
    Bugsmommy1908

    Answer by Bugsmommy1908 at 5:58 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • I am sorry to hear of your past... as for your father.. it sounds like it's guilt... he most likely had a clue to what your brother was doing and didn't or didn't know how to.. deal with it...
    Just focus on your family and your business... maybe, just maybe he will come around soon..
    If you were my dd and you have achieved as much as you have... "I would be so proud of you"

    Good Luck with your business and many blessings with your family...
    gmasboy

    Answer by gmasboy at 6:02 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • I don't know why he is doing it, but congratulations on your success. You are very young to have come so far. My suggestion would be just to accept your dad for who he is and don't expect anything more. My guess is that there are events in his past which are to blame for the way he is, but you do not have the power to fix him. Just love him because he is your dad and don't expect any more than he is apparently able to give.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:04 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • You need to stop seeking your fathers approval.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 6:07 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • Maybe it is guilt, maybe it is some jealousy. Here you are a young mother with a loving family and a booming business. You are only 21 years old to top it all off. You are the pride of the family while everyone else is mooching off of daddy or pushing businesses that should be legal. He may trying to look the other way because he doesn't want to own up to the fact the he screwed up. It is sad though. He couldn't have screwed up too bad because look at you. Don't dwell on the fact that he wants to ignore that there is goodness in his family. Instead thrive on the fact that you have won the American dream and have a life time ahead of you and your children. Congratulations at accomplishing your goals. Just keep setting more, hopefully your family will realize what they are missing out on by not following your path. And as hard as it is, just be shining example you have been.

    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 6:20 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • Don't worry about your father. Just live your own life. You are doing great.
    momtoeight

    Answer by momtoeight at 6:58 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • None of what you said would explain why your father is acting the way he is. But I can tell you, I had a bad relationship with my dad and pushed myself to achieve in order to get approval. I also had unhealthy relationships with guys because I didn't know what love should be like from a man (my dad kinda ignored my mom). It came down to the fact that he didn't know what to do with a girl child. It wasn't until I got married that he's relaxed and we've built a small friendship. Thankfully, I realized in college that I can't seek out his approval and be true to myself. It sucks, but you really have to just keep doing what you think is right and he'll either get on board or not. For the specific situation you described, though- why not print out your favorite pictures and show it to him in an album or do a shoot of him and your mom on their anniversary?
    mrs_pulley

    Answer by mrs_pulley at 7:24 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • bc you made your goal and you don't "need" him anymore. The boys "need" him, or so he thinks. Older parents want to feel like they are still needed so they find the weakest ones and enable them. Good for you that you grew up to be strong and independent. Feel sorry for the weaker ones who will suck dad's blood and wallet dry.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:25 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • i cant give you an answer to that all i can say is obviously your doing a great job and really the only approval you need is the approval from the family you have created yourself! and i wouldn't worry about anything else cuz your doing great and you should be proud no matter what! good job! and keep it up!
    kuuipo317

    Answer by kuuipo317 at 11:23 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

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