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Have you ever cut off communication with a parent for good, personal reasons?

How did that parent handle it Did they care or notice? Did you regret it or make amends/changes later in life and come back together? Are we obligated by family ties, not to cut someone off?

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Teachermom01

Asked by Teachermom01 at 8:17 PM on Jun. 13, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (8)
  • I have cut off all communication with my father, it will be a year on July 3rd since we talked last.

    He does not seem to have noticed...I think he knows he is not allowed in my life at all, he does not call here anymore but he asks my grandparents about my daughter.

    No I do not regret it and I have no intentions of making amends later in life.

    No, we are not obligated by blood to not cut someone off...I have friends closer to me than some of my family. Does it make them any less family cause we aren't related by blood?
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 8:20 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • We have cut off communication with my husband's mother. She was heavily into drugs most of her life (probably still is), beat my husband and his brothers when they were younger and even threatened their lives, her actions forced the boys to go to foster homes (definitely a blessing), and a few years back her habit were so bad she actually almost died. When she was ill my husband tried to make amends and forgive what she had done in the past....and I was there to help him cope. That did not work and we have had no contact for the last 3+ years...until Mother's Day...I decided to call because I figured maybe she would want to know how her son and grandchildren were doing...and she started to tell me about her latest boyfriend who is a registered CHILD MOLESTER! Needless to say i hung up on her and she will NEVER see us or talk to us or her granddaughters again. EVER!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:27 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • I have cut off communication with family and some friends.
    It was mutual and I don't think they care.
    No regrets, and I don't think about making a mends in the future and no, we are not obligated by family ties.I strongly beleive in cutting off toxic people or people who bring you down in general.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:28 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • I cut off all communication with my father

    He has called me so i think he notices but then he is just asked to not call anymore
    I made it clear that I didnt want to talk unless he was deathly ill and for no other reason

    I dont care to ever make ammends and I hope I never do because he is the epidamy of an awful father and person

    no I dont care if he was jesus christ himself. anybody, family or not, who does enough wrong to leave ur life deserves to be left out
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:36 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • I'm an only child, and I OFFICIALLY cut ties with my mother over 5 years ago (12 years after moving out on my own)--at best, our relationship could be described as strained and completely dysfunctional.

    She is a socio-patholgical liar and alcoholic--not a good combination. I only realized how unstable she really was when I became a mother myself. I tried REALLY hard to look past her issues--because she was my mother, but her endless lies, half truths, and true persona trumped that!

    She is pissed that I would chose to write her off (only SHE is allowed to do that!)--she wants to be "Super Nana" and get a "do-over" in the parenting department, now that she has money--as if money somehow erases history! She continues to send me NASTY letters by mail, sends our children stupid gifts (which we always return to her unopened).

    I have already mourned the death of our relationship should she die tomorrow. I have no regrets.
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 8:37 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • Wow, Lorikeet, that is a lot of how I feel. I haven't cut ties totally yet, but she sent me a letter and totally does not get how her behavior and choices, and lies effected me. She even seems to think she was with her a@@hole of a husband for 10 years, when it was closer to 14. I have been so upset, but feel this is where I'm heading. Thank you all for sharing.

    Teachermom01

    Answer by Teachermom01 at 8:48 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • I have not talked to my bio father in about 3 years now! He was never totally part of my life, he would come and go when he wanted. He always had something better to be doing then spending time with me. As I grew older I realized and got fed up. I would always have to go out of my way to call him, and to go and see him. And even when I did go over there his wife would do nothing but bash my mom. It really became hard when I had a child of my own and couldnt understand why someone wouldnt want to be apart of something so wonderful! So I finally said I had enough, and havent talked to him in almost 3 years.
    mrsmamaj

    Answer by mrsmamaj at 9:03 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • I'm sure you're familiar with my story. My mother happens to be a Cafemom member as well, which doesn't make things easy. Her reaction is to tell me that I need to talk things out with her, but she's not sorry for what she did to me and she will not uphold any boundaries or change. She's also seems to think that she was merely strict, not horribly abusive and seems to think that I'm exaggeration and lying about my whole childhood.

    Do I regret cutting her off- Not one bit. She's not someone that I need around myself or my children. I also don't think we're obligated to someone just because they are blood relatives.
    nwdeserangel

    Answer by nwdeserangel at 10:43 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

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