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Do vows not mean anything?

Do marriage vows mean nothing any more? When my husband and I got married, part of our vows were "for better or for worse", as they have been for every wedding I have ever seen. So why do so many people want to bail when the "for worse" comes? I'm not talking about out and out abuse or infidelity. I'm talking when your husband doesnt act just like you think he should, why is it now ok just to bail when you aren't getting your way? It seems the answer on here for every relationship/marriage problem is "leave" or "get a divorce". So did your marriage vows (all of them) mean nothing, or were they just conditional?
** don't pull the "judgmental" BS...I'm honestly asking a question.


Asked by abbynzachsmommy at 8:15 PM on Jun. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Level 2 (6 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • I agree I have noticed that a lot of times when ppl vent most of the reponses are 'leave him' or 'kick his a$$ to the curb" I think it is sad that ppl don't take their vows seriously these days. I also think that most ppl forget that you are two different ppl living in one house, again you are TWO different people. Different veiws, oppinons, thoughts, and words. You can't change them to fit you they have to change themselfs and when you get married you need to compromise. Marriage is not some thing you get into and get out the min mr,right pisses you off. He and you are two different ppl. It takes a lot of work and I think ppl tend to overlook that part.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:47 PM on Jun. 14, 2009

  • If this is in response to my question because my SO isn't "acting how I think he should" just know that we are not married. There were no vows taken.

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 8:19 PM on Jun. 14, 2009

  • I agree! I am going through a divorce but there was abuse and affairs on his part. However, even if that didn't occur I do believe that he would have wanted to end it anyhow based upon feelings or just giving up because he actually told me so. I think it's VERY sad and unfortunate that vows are not meant to be followed anymore.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:21 PM on Jun. 14, 2009

  • CarolynBernett...this has nothing to do with you. I'm speaking specifically of marriage, hence the vows part.

    Answer by abbynzachsmommy at 8:22 PM on Jun. 14, 2009

  • I believe that maybe you have read something that you did'nt want to hear and now you have to try and be judgemental. I really hope you feel better know if you don't then maybe you should go and have a break from us and come back when you want to be more opened minded.

    Oh by the way are you PMSing??

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:24 PM on Jun. 14, 2009

  • Anon, you are an idiot. I have been in CM for a very long time, and this is an extremely common answer. Check the relationship section. I'm not being judgmental (if you had any reading comprehension at all you would know that). Its an honest question. I really want to know if people mean their vows or if they see them as conditional. I am very open minded, but I do not believe your hubby playing PS 3 more than you think he should is a valid reason for divorce. IMO thats immature and idiotic.

    Answer by abbynzachsmommy at 8:27 PM on Jun. 14, 2009

  • Well I suppose you could say that I left my husband because he wasnt acting as I thought he should. He was setting fires in an unsafe way with a young child present and showing him how to set them as well. He was getting high...the kids and I had to sleep in the same room..i was scared he would set the house on fire and I wouldnt be able to get to them. He would get high and not even know we were there. He could not and would not hold a job. So yea I left him because I didnt like how he was acting.

    Answer by angie729 at 8:28 PM on Jun. 14, 2009

  • By the way I stayed in my marriage a long time because of my vows...but chose to break them

    Answer by angie729 at 8:29 PM on Jun. 14, 2009

  • I agree, people run to divorce way to easly anymore! Instead of sticking it out and working threw the problems! If this wasnt true then why are divorce rates so high??? Nobody said that marriage would be easy, hell I think it will be the hardest thing anyone does in their life!

    Answer by mrsmamaj at 8:30 PM on Jun. 14, 2009

  • I'll try to be short. If you believe in the bible it is for better or for worse. No, I am not getting religious. I think couples getting married under Gods law. At any rate men are naturally not as patient about issues as women. No, I am not making an excuse for men. Many of us do not get extensive counseling after marriage. Marriage is hard work, you need to keep everythig tuned up. Love is a choice. For instance , you own a beautiful car, but you see many cars that look better. You have a choice to keep your beautiful car or trade it in for another beautiful car...once you get tired of looking at it you look another. Marriage is a choice. You can decide to make it work or not. Not is easier. You have to really know who you are marrying, by going through turmoil while dating. Often times we hide things until marriage. No good. I hope I was helpful. Couples aren't (now) like my parents who have been happily married 40 yrs.

    Answer by Godswk at 8:33 PM on Jun. 14, 2009