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Why is it so hard to just come out and tell him goodbye?

My boyfriend or should I say my ex-boyfriend wants me to tell him whether we are still together or if we are done.

I don't even want to talk to him right now because he is so mean and uncaring but he won't quit calling or messaging me. I told him in a way that I was done with him the last time I talked to him.

I don't know what to do? I love him but I don't know if he is ever going to change.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:10 AM on Jun. 15, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Well, men can't read between the lines. So telling him "in a way" and actually telling him are two different things.

    What you need to do is very simple. The next time he calls, simply say "We're over. Please stop calling me." and hang up. After that, go have yourself a good long cry, and don't answer any of his calls/messages again.

    If you are really serious about it, you should consider either changing your number, or blocking his from your phone.

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 12:13 AM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • I'm probably older than you so I'm inclined to say just dump him. Here's the deal, if he loves you and is even capable of "change" then he should change for you. My guess is that he won't if he hasn't already met whatever criteria you've laid out for him. Tell him you care enough to let him go figure things out and if he can come back the way you want, great. If he cannot be what you need from your checklist of must haves in a partner, let him go and find the fellow that has most of your checklist.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 12:15 AM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • Or do what the first poster said! Lol!

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 12:16 AM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • men don't change. It took them all this time to get to be how they are and that's how they are. They think they are fine and have no need to change. Don't waste your time trying. As for contacting him. DON'T. He uses that to just keep a connection with you. Delete the messages. Stop taking his calls and he'll get tired and go pester someone else. This is a game to them. He'll smother you with all this attention to get you back then treat you like crap when he does get you back, so save yourself the humiliation and stay gone now and find someone else

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:56 AM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • It sounds to me like you're not being direct with him. If you're done.. flat out say, I'm done. That whole "in a way I wanna..." crap doesn't fly with me. I'd be calling too, wanting to know whether I was or wasn't single so I could go find me someone else if I was or fall apart if I needed to.
    Give the guy a break, tell him the truth even if it's "I don't know if I want to be with you or not right now, so let's just take a break from each other, give me some space to figure out what I want and need out of this relationship".

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 1:33 AM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • There is a part of you that likes having his attention. If he is all you say then tell him direct. Men don't always get it. He needs to move on. It is unfair for you not to just let him know that you will no longer be talking to him or calling him. Eventually he will understand that you mean what you say.

    Answer by grannywilson at 12:36 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

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