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Is it rude of a friend to flat out ask you on facebook to leave the kids at home after they invite you to their wedding?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:47 AM on Jun. 15, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (10)
  • I'm not sure what facebook turndown has to do with all of this. But it is the bride's day. If she has to pay for less children then she can invite more adults who are meaningful to her day. I never assume children can go anywhere hubby and I are invited to. I always ask or comment back that if I can find a babysitter we'll go. That way the host, bride who ever has the choice of saying bring kids or oh thanks for understanding and getting a sitter. On the other hand once or twice hubby has been invited to a wedding after we've been married for years and that for sure if flat out #))#() rude. Can someone from church or maybe a relative of yours sit for you? What ever way if you can go, go. If you cant and if this is the only thing upsetting you about that bride's day - try to put it aside and offer your congrats and let your friendship carry on in spite of this.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:10 AM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • No. It's their day and it is definitely possible that they cannot afford it. Also, they may want an adults only wedding. No matter what the reason, if they didn't address the invitation to "and family" or "and children" or specify your children's names on the invitation, it's not polite to assume you can bring your kids.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:49 AM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • I agree with anon. It will probably more enjoyable for you to go without them any way. I wish I didn't have to take my kids to a wedding coming up, but if I didn't I'd be griped at by DH's family. LOL My mom offered to sit, but I had to turn her down. I'd actually be able to dance if I didn't have all three kids with me.

    Answer by LolosMom at 1:52 AM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • I disagree. I believe that people sending out wedding invites should be specific in the invitation written or verbal wether or not children are invited. Personally friends or not I wouldn't go if my children couldn't. Not b/c I don't love my friends but b/c I can't really afford a baby sitter. I do agree that it is their day and that makes it their choice but they should def. be specific on children, dress code, etc.

    Answer by honeychick772 at 1:53 AM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • Personally I wouldn't take my kids to a wedding at their ages. I'd be the one everyone turned to look at because my kids wouldn't be still or would start laughing or fighting with each other.
    Kids shouldn't be at a wedding till they're old enough to be completely trusted to not disrupt the ceremony.
    I'd have put it on my invitations that due to seating, cost of food at the reception, alcohol being served, adult conversation, that I'd appreciate it if the children were not present (tell me one small kid that wouldn't have a ball with some cake... I can visualize the wedding party with cake somehow smeared on their clothes or a kid in the aisle tripping the bride...).
    On those days... kids are better left at home or with a sitter.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 1:54 AM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • if they want no children, they should specify that on the invite. So yes, it's rude that she did it on facebook.

    Answer by nairda at 1:58 AM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • OP here, yes well I had little kids at my wedding and a flower girl who was 2 and a ring bearer who was 5 and no problems at all, it was all the cuter! i just feel hurt because I never see her anymore and now will miss her wedding and we were like best friends for a long time. To invite me on facebook and disinvite my kids after I thought they could come was a little bit harsh I thought? facebook wedding invite,lol, this is too easy and easy to be rude I think?

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:00 AM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • OP whatever happened to flower girls and ring bearers? The wedding is a state a way so no sitter either

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:03 AM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • The flower girls and ring bearers are usually members of the wedding party's family.
    Some people don't find children "cute" and with the price of a lot of weddings, I'd want it as "on plan" as possible.
    If the kids are babies, you never know when they're going to cry, get sleepy etc... witih older kids, they don't like to be seated long and who can blame them.
    But if I spent a large amount of money on a wedding, I'm telling ya, I want it to go the way I'd planned and to not have a kid crying or any of that on my video.
    But an invite on facebook... really, that's so lame. If you were good friends, you'd think it would've atleast been done via phone if not in formal invitation. Sounds like you were a last minute invite.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 2:08 AM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • they should have made it clear no children are coming in the beginning. They certainly didn't plan well.

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:08 AM on Jun. 15, 2009