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How did you tell your children that their mom and dad won't be together anymore?

We have three children, and while the twins are three and don't understand much, my five year old does understand things, somewhat. Right now my husband is sleeping on the couch, but he will be moving out once I get a job. Already the five year old is asking questions, and I'm not sure I know the right words for someone his age.

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:54 AM on Jun. 15, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (4)
  • I'm so sorry :(

    I think just making sure to say - we need to talk - do it together if you can and make SURE to always tell your kids it's NOT their fault - and don't talk down about the other parent to the kids. You know, there are GREAT children's books about this subject - get a few and read them to your kids. There are age appropriate ones for 3 year olds and for 5 year olds.

    Best of luck to you!

    Answer by AAAMama at 8:15 AM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • My BIL never explained things to his kids when he and their mother divorced, thinking they were too young to understand. They were 3 and 6 if I am not mistaken. I know that is close to their ages at the time. Now, the older one has a lot of esteem and behavioral issues and has been in counseling for about 2 years. I am not sure that the two are related, but his counselor seems to think that the sudden change with no explanation or reassurance is a factor with him. So I am glad that you are choosing to actually talk to your children as best you can and not just assuming that since they are kids, they won't get it.

    Explain that even though Mommy and Daddy love the kids very very much, they just don't love each other anymore. The kids didn't make you not love each other and there was nothing that they needed to do to help. There is a book, I believe titled "My two homes" that the counselor recommended to my BIL.

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 9:54 AM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • im sorry that happened!!!! but i have a boy that is 7 1/2 and my self and his dad arent gettin along niether, but the only way i was able to let him kno what is goin on is that "mommy and daddy are not gettin along right now so mom needs her own space" " mom and dad are just havin some problemz right now so we r tryin' to fix it, but i want u to kno u did nothin wrong and its not your fault"

    Answer by eagleangels at 10:23 AM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • Plain English... or whatever your native language is...

    Answer by Angelbluewingsz at 3:02 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

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