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Has cheating ever worked for anyone?

Scenerio: Troubled marriage, bored, not getting what you want from him, sex sucks, no common interest, no romance at all! etc. Don't want to divorce and screw up everyone involved ie; Kids, family etc. Have wants, needs. Know of someone in same siutation. Can two unhappily but "willing to stay" married people conduct an affair with eachother without expecting anything more? Can this happen and work without anyone knowing? Ever heard of a successful affair.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:09 AM on Jun. 15, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • No never. I usually hear of the devastation it causes. Really Im just being honest, it will eventually come to light and no one looks favorably on a cheater, they are usually embarrassed and loose everything...including the respect of their children. If they are young, someone will tell them when they are older.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 10:16 AM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • Have you tried "role playing?" Pretending that you are "cheating" on each other WITH each other. Act out your fantasies...let down your inhibitions, and DO the things you wish you could do, and feel the need to find in someone else.

    If not, then DIVORCE is far better for the children. Children are more perceptive than adults give them credit for. They sense things adults think they are hiding from them. They'll KNOW if you are having an affair, and that will teach them that it's acceptable. They'll likely repeat the pattern when they grow up, or have difficulty picking the right people to be with.

    There MUST have been something way back when you first started dating each other that drew you together. But if your marriage was solely based on LUST and not LOVE, then you may need to rethink things, or go back to the LUSTFUL part.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 AM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • I know this may sound stupid. I am a very educated women however i grew up in a disfunctional family where both my parents sucked miserably at marriage. They were not friends with each other at all. They never did things together except drink and then knock each other around. I've married a man that is in most was awesome but I am not attracted to. We were friends we work well together if your talking about a business. This is a marriage. I'm not sure I ever was attracted to him. He was normalcy in a life of very unnormalcy. I never had the need for sex as a younger girl. I figured it was just for men and having babies. Now as I've grown up, sought couseling and have seen "fireworks" that can happen between two people I am so needy of that. I want the physical attraction for him. Is it fair to ask Dh to change? I have talked to Dh about this, just last night. I am going to couseling.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:44 AM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • I would try telling him how you feel. Not that you want to cheat, but the other stuff. See what he's willing to do to make things better, and try to think of what you can do to make things better. If the sex sucks, spice it up. Send a dirty note in his briefcase/lunchbox, have phone sex if he goes out of town, role play, get some toys, sexy lingerie, if he doesn't touch you the way that gets you going, tell him or show him how to do it differently. You can create romance, you don't have to wait for him. Make a candlelit dinner, put rose petals on the bed, draw a bubble bath for two, rent a romantic movie. Try to find common interests;try new things together. Not just current hobbies, but find new ones together that you can both enjoy. If you try all that, and things just don't change, I still wouldn't cheat; that's when I would seriously consider divorce if you're that unhappy. Hope that helps a little.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 11:27 AM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • It will be found out in the end and if that's what you want people remembering about you. They will talk and you will be known as the cheater. Buy a sex toy and read some romance novels. Maybe your husband deserves better and you should divorce him and give him a chance to find someone who loves him for him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

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