Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Would you stop your kids father from calling if he disrespected you?

Everytime my daughter's father call my phone he always have something negative to say to me and he verbal abuse me so much too a point where I dont want him around her with that kind of attitude. I know I can't make him respect me but I can make him stop calling my phone. We are going through CHild Support but I also want to do vistation rights. I know its not about me but damn how much more can a person who is raising a kid by their self and paying for everything take....I am bout to tell him a thing a two.....

 
mom42107

Asked by mom42107 at 11:33 AM on Jun. 15, 2009 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,080 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • I found what worked best for me and my ex was to have him call my parents house, leave a msg, they would give me the msg, and I would send a response back to him thru my parents. The court said he had to have a way to contact me, and that was a way. It eliminated the disrespect, b/c he wouldn't dare say I was a bitch or a C word to my father, and it prevented my temper from getting the best of me b/c I could think about what he said instead of feeling the need to instantly respond to whatever he said. I would see if you have someone in your life that would be willing to be an intermediary between you two, and see if that helps. If nothing else, at least then you'd have a witness to go with you to court to testify how he talks about and treats you.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 11:42 AM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • i went through the same thing with my daughter's father. my daughter was only a baby at the time so he'd call to check on her but he mostly called to insult me and i told him finally if he had nothing better to say than not to bother calling at all. well he kept calling and texting me really nasty stuff so i just changed my number.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 11:37 AM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • GO AHEAD AND GIVE HIM A PIECE OF YOUR MIND, NO REASON TO TAKE ANY KIND OF ABUSE, BUT ALSO REMEMBER HE IS THE FATHER OF YOUR CHILD TOO, AND YOU CAN'T TAKE AWAY THAT RIGHT OR TURN YOUR KIDS AGAINST HIM EITHER. ASK HIM TO KEEP HIS VERBAL ABUSE TO HIMSELF AND NOT TO DO IT INFRONT OF THE KID.
    older

    Answer by older at 11:40 AM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • I feel like I wrote your question, and after 9 1/2 years on my own raising my daughter (we separated when she was two years old but the marriage was over before she was born) with very little support and nothing but Daily Aggravation, I can say:

    You are totally right and this is unfair, and yes you have a right to some peace of mind too.
    Don't ever expect him to respect you.
    Get an unlisted phone number - I did this so many times and it works but only if he doesn't get you to slip and tell him what it is, plus you have to let everyone know the number changed.
    Don't waste your breath - silence is the best response to craziness.
    Breath in and out, ten times

    Really, you come first. No mommy to take care of herself, no mom to take care of kid(s). Take care of you - I am rooting for you because I've been in the same place so long - and kids need a happy mom. Oh - it will be better and less stressful in time.
    terry6202

    Answer by terry6202 at 11:46 AM on Jun. 15, 2009

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN