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Would it be rude? (read below)

My 2 yr old is mildly lacotse intolerenat by that i mean he can have cheese and he can have milk IN food but he cannot have regular milk or ice cream (it gives him SEVERE diereah vomitting and tummy aches) We got invited to birthday party for someone in a playdate group.. we know them well enough but are not close friends.. It says on the invite the lunch cake and ice cream is provided.. I was wondering if any one thinks it will be rude to buy him a contianer of rainbow sherbert and bring it along.. I dont want him getting sick but i dont feel he should have to be left out when the other kids are eating ice cream.. I dont know if i should call the mom or not and ask.. WE are not super close but have met about 7 or 8 times and the boys get along very well... I just dont want to come across as rude.. should i bring him some ice cream or not? Or should we just not go? I dont feel he should have to miss out on the party..

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JrsMommy07

Asked by JrsMommy07 at 2:18 PM on Jun. 15, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 10 (419 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • no I don't think it would be rude as long as you tell the hostess why it was brought. I would call her in advance and ask her if she would like you to bring enough for everyone tho. depending on the ages of the kids they might want some to and it would be rude if you only brought enough for your kid I think....But I would call her and talk to her about it...
    heather.darin

    Answer by heather.darin at 2:30 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • Definitely take the sherbet. You don't want your little one to get sick. You might want to call the mom and let her know you're bringing it and why just so she has a heads up. I can't imagine she would think it was rude or out of line for you to bring something like that.
    AuntieM

    Answer by AuntieM at 2:30 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • I don't see a problem with asking the mom. You might even ask her if there are any other lactose intolerant kids and offer to buy a bigger container. I don't think it's rude.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:31 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • I don't think it would be rude. I would not be offended at all if you did that. You don't want to leave your child out. You could let the parent know your child is lactose intolerant and let her know you will be bringing sherbet for him. It might be nice if she got a heads up about the situation.
    kerijeanbean

    Answer by kerijeanbean at 2:34 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • You might call the other child's mother, explain the situation and ask her if she would like for you to provide sherbet for all the children as a contribution to the party, since your child is the one who needs a different item. A quart of sherbet doesn't cost all that much, and she might welcome some help. You and she might become better friends through this, too.
    pagan_mama

    Answer by pagan_mama at 2:37 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • Not rude at all. I would call ahead and ask her explain your plan and go ahead and bring a larger size one just in case b/c I bet your not the only one.
    MamiJaAyla

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 2:45 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • I don't think it would be at all rude. I would call her beforehand and give her a heads up, so she's not wondering why you brought it at the party. You might be surprised, too, she might offer to do sherbet instead of ice cream. I know my kids would want what they see the other kid having, so if I got a call like that, I'd probably tell the mom not to worry about it, that I would switch to sherbet. I don't think it's ever rude to protect your child's health.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 2:55 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • You could always call her to RSVP and say something like "would you mind if I brought...." don't make a big deal of it, but be honest.

    If you didn't ask I don't think it would be rude, but asking might make you less anxious about doing it and will prepare the mom to know why you brought it.
    julipickle2

    Answer by julipickle2 at 4:01 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • Its absolutely NOT rude to provide something special for a child with allergies....... you are actually doing what would be the best thing. When you get there, casually mention to the mom that your son is allergic and you brought sherbet for him so he didnt feel left out. It would be rude to expect the host to have on hand or provide unless you were asked ahead of time.
    SuperMomof3kids

    Answer by SuperMomof3kids at 4:42 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • It wouldn't be rude at all! My son has multiple food allergies and wouldn't be able to eat the lunch, the cake or the ice cream - I have to bring everything for him and do. I always let the other parent know why & ask what is going to be served so that I can bring something similar for my son that is safe for him to eat. Every parent I ever spoke to was glad I told them and some have even gone out of their way to provide the allergy-free foods themselves, which was really very nice of them to do.
    mom2aspclboy

    Answer by mom2aspclboy at 5:59 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

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