• In the Spotlight:
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My husband left me

and in a arguement says before i find a new man that i have to be independent.when he told me to stay home with the kids..now that hes gone he says mean things.He also said i will never find someone better than him,or that will take care of me like he did.Did anyone ever marry someone cruel,and have found better?????

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:26 PM on Jun. 15, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • no, but i am so sorry for what has happened to you...if i were you id never go back to him...you deserve better...guys like deserved to be shot....all i can say is best of luck and god bless
    Mamaof2boys0709

    Answer by Mamaof2boys0709 at 2:28 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • My X left me and my daughter..Remember one thing, they have thought about leaving way before they exactly left..
    My X did not say mean things, but he did tell me that
    NOONE loves like I do...and that I would never be happy because I want too much..

    LITTLE did he know...hun....I am engaged to my soul mate and the guy he said never existed..

    So maybe in your case, when all is done...
    Your husband too may have done you a favor
    by
    leaving...
    Who wants a weak man anyway...

    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 2:31 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • Be realistic, does or did he take care of you? take a look at all the things he has said to you and honestly be realistic, I think you will find better than him, if when you are being realistic you see that hes right and he has a point then you will find someone better than him because you will have seen his points of view and you will know how or where to start to maby change your self a little bit for example being indepentdant if he says your to depentdant and you might agrre then tell him thanks he just help you to learn somehting about yourself and he helped you find soemone better already and if hes wrong and your right then you definitly will find soemone better,. did i make any sense lol, if i didnt sorry im not to great at givng good advice in riting im more a of a talker.
    chukuku

    Answer by chukuku at 2:32 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • pick yourself up and brush it off.life is a journey we encounter these types of problems to make us stronger indiviuals. you can find better but you do need to learn how to be independent. we don't need a man to complete us .yeah it may be the cherry whn we find a good one.you'll mostly find someone better when you're not even looking..
    amiyamom

    Answer by amiyamom at 2:34 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • I can't say that i have ever married anyone like this i have never been married but i dated someone for 3 yrs he was abusive, physically and verbally he ALWAYS told me I would never find anyone better than him and thats why i need to just put up with him he also made threats against my brother and sis if I left him he would hurt them I know it's not exactly your situtation but let me tell you 4yrs later i am a stronger woman with a man who treats me like a queen i believed that i would never find anyone until i met my fiance so there is always someone else out there don't let him tell you any different! good luck!!
    VanessaCalhoun

    Answer by VanessaCalhoun at 2:35 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • You will find someone else that will be your knight in shining armor. Then you will realize wow , there are so many beautiful men out there that care about other women , even with children . I think that is so wonderful. Don't give up. In the begininng it will be hard, but things will change and you will fall in love again. GL .
    bella69147

    Answer by bella69147 at 2:37 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • UGH!! SO SORRY to hear this. That must have hit you way down low. Not for nothing but this is why I will NEVER be totally dependant on a man, not my husband or anyone. Because I always feel that deep down (when there are financial issues) that they will resent you. Once again sorry you went through this but now you have to stand strong for your kids and make the best life you can for them. What he said to you will only make you stronger in the end.
    NJMom2Tyler

    Answer by NJMom2Tyler at 2:38 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • My ex used to say the same thing to me. Almost 6 yrs later, I have my own home that my parents helped me build, I take care of my 2 sons, and my ex has not paid a dime in child support in more than half of those yrs. DO NOT let him convince you that you should be with him or that you won't find someone else.

    And yes, you can find someone else, someone better. We are not married, but I am involved with a wonderful man who every day asks how my day went, how the kids are, what he can do to make me feel better or to help me out. He tells me what a good mom I am, what a great girlfriend, how lucky he feels to have found me, and promises me every day that he will never do anything that my ex did. And I have the confidence to know that I want to be with this man for the rest of my life, but that if it doesn't work, I will be fine without him, b/c I have made it on my own.

    It'll happen. Get rid of him and move on. Good luck
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 2:47 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.