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Am I wrong for snooping?

I don't trust my husband which is why I snoop...no bashing me about that please. I am fully aware that trust is very important in a marraige. But he created this monster....anyway. I snooped, found something minor and he is saying that I shouldn't snoop through his things, he has no privacy, etc. What do you think?? Is snooping okay?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:01 PM on Jun. 15, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • you need to tell him he created this monster and it will take some time to trust him again. He needs to show you that he can be trusted. Snooping is ok when needed.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 5:05 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • it depends on if your excessive about it. I may feel trapped. Like he cant be is own person b/c he has to watch every little thing he does or you might take it the wrong way. He may be just tired of explaining himself. You dont want to drive him away. I think snooping is fine, if it's only every once and a while and you dont blow everything you find up in an argument. Same that for something BIG that you find! Like a pair of undies!! LOL
    forevermom75

    Answer by forevermom75 at 5:44 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • I believe in privacy. Talking to others is a choice. They will do it in spite of your snooping and might do it more often bc of your snooping so you may have just pushed him to do it again and again whereas he may have just been curious to talk to someone and that could have been that. I guess we'll see how he handles it to find out if you did right or not. Me? Nope, I don't snoop. I don't want to know his business. I can only keep making my guy want to keep coming back and being with me.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:50 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • It is an issue of trust and respect. I don;t go thru my husbands things and he doesn't go thru mine either. His Mother though is another story...
    MommaM2

    Answer by MommaM2 at 5:50 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • I don't know if you're wrong. When I was with my ex, once it became clear I couldn't trust him, I made it a practice in our house that everything was open. E-mails, computer history, phones, etc., we both could access each other's info at any time. Not that it did any real good, but it prevented me from struggling with the whole "should I or shouldn't I?" dilemma.

    The person I am with now, I wouldn't do that, nor would I snoop. I trust him, and so far, he's not given me a reason to doubt that trust. If he did, I'd like to think that at this point, I am able to sit down with him and give him a chance to explain. I'd also like to think that I've judged him correctly and that he is an honest, loyal man who would come clean, and would work hard to rebuild my trust in him.

    I would tell him that you don't trust him, and that he needs to earn that trust. One way to do that is by allowing you to snoop.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 7:38 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • If you snoop all the time you are bound to find what you are looking for. If you need to snoop you shouldn't be together. Give him a little space & privacy treat yourself to a pedicure or a hair appointment. you'll feel a whole lot better:)

    cinimini

    Answer by cinimini at 8:11 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • Snooping is wrong. Every person, even a married one, deserves some privacy. He created the monster? You chose to stay. So you need to trust him or leave. You are going to push him right into what ever it is you fear.
    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 7:55 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • ok im not married but i have always trusted my EX bf well this one night i woke up at 3 in the morning to feed the baby and his phone was CALLING MY NAME! so i snooped through it and i found in his out box telling his friendn Not to mention "these two putas" TO ME OBVIOUSLY theres 2 girls involved im not supposed 2 kno about hmmm i wonder wat that meant! DUH it was something bad and wrong or he would have told me right? =[ .... well if ur checking its for a reason but constantly for NO reason might be A TRUST Issue 4 u also
    PriscillaMum

    Answer by PriscillaMum at 12:29 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

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