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If you are irritated at hubby, can you still have sex with him?

If your marriage is having ups and downs or on the rocks, or irritates you for days/weeks on end...do you stay "in the mood" anyway and just do it anyway. Do you think it makes you closer, or do you just skip the kissing and sort of have un-intimate sexual contact as a release? I mean I find it hard to if I'm mad or irritated at hubby, but it seems I'm irritated for him weeks at a time, so that means...no sex for many weeks which TOTALLY sucks. I mean when he finally has a good day, it lasts 1/2 the day then he does something to ruin it again...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:04 PM on Jun. 15, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • For us women (most of us) sex is emotional. So if we are not emotionally available then it's hard to have sex with someone. What you're feeling is normal. BUT you need to communicate more with your hubby...so that you're not holding grudges.
    NJMom2Tyler

    Answer by NJMom2Tyler at 5:06 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • Have you told him how you feel?
    It's not good to hold back on sex, but sometimes if he is a big jerk I can see how you would not want to have sex.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 5:08 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • I can't have sex with my SO if I am mad or upset at him or if we have been arguing. I can't even get in the mood. Sex is completely emotional for me, I have never been able to have sex with anyone if I wasn't happy with them.
    HisMommySince07

    Answer by HisMommySince07 at 5:35 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • I'M THE OP: Hubby just blames me for going to bed late. But even when I go to bed early, he's not interested, or I'm not interested. I will say we both have some thyroid issues, so that makes libido a little low, but definitely being a bratty child will totally turn me off for the night no matter how much laundry he did during the day. But sometimes his back tickles can relax me..which is nice. He has a lot of "good" in him, but the negative just drives me nuts sometimes that I cannot bring myself to do it with him, which only makes him even more irritable....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:39 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • we have needs too. if im upset with my hubby then my mood for sex goes away. but if im really wanting some, i try to get the issue resoved so it can happen. i feel by having sex and still being mad afterwards sends the wrong signals, cuz he probably thought everything was ok. communnicate more and hopefully yall can have more happily and sexually active lifestyle. why deprive yourself of the pleasure too.
    Luvli1andlil1

    Answer by Luvli1andlil1 at 5:39 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • I can still have sex with my husband. I actually sometimes come on to him after a fight. It really depends on what the fight is over. Some things are easier to let go.
    IzzeAddy

    Answer by IzzeAddy at 6:26 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • Yup, I never turn down sex from him. I can go back to being irritated at him later. I'm not about to cheat myself out of sex!!!!! I'm old. I may not get it again for a while! I have to take it when I can get it from him!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:35 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • I agree with admckenzie. Life is to short. Dh is old we sometimes have sex only once twice a week. Me being irritated with him will only get me less sex. So I put my irritation aside for a couple of hours and have me some great sex. I can go back to being irritated with him later if I want.frustrated

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:44 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • Anger sex can definately add to the passion.
    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 6:45 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • I hate having sex when I'm mad at him, I won't do it.
    But, someone once said that when you're the most distant and tired of the man you married, that is the time to just let it go and hug him and give more affection. I never believed this but finally tried it and it helps to turn your feelings around. Works with kids that annoy you too!
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 6:58 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

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