Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I guess I just need to get this off my chest.

I have been with my husband 22 years. Married for almost 21 yrs. I know I would not have married him if I had not got pregnant. We seperated after the first 5, I had an affair and he caught me, but he begged me to come back, and threatened to take my daughter away from me. He has never let me forget that I had the affair. So I stayed with him, mostly because I was scared of losing my daughter, then just as I was getting the nerve to leave again(8 years later, when my daughter was 14 and I knew a judge would let her decide where she wanted to be, I found out I was pregnant again(I wasn't suppose to be able to have anymore kids.)) so I stayed for now 5 more years, this May I finally decided I could not take the verbal abuse and the depression and all the unhappiness any longer and told him I wanted a divorce. He is still trying to threaten me into staying. He insists I have someone else or I would not be leaving. There is no one else, Just me and I feel like I need to get out so

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:30 PM on Jun. 21, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I am soo sorry. I applaud your strength in staying and surviving and most importantly...your courage to leave. Stay Safe..this is the most dangerous time for a woman in an abusive situation. Take good care of yourself and your daughter.
    MommasCooCoo

    Answer by MommasCooCoo at 5:39 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • It sounds like you're doing the right thing by leaving. I'm sure that the mental abuse hasn't only been delivered to you. And who knows what's next? He may decided that words aren't enough. Just out of curiosity was the first affair because of the mental abuse? Or is that something he started after?
    Not many judges would split up your children so if the older one says that she wants to go with you more than likely you'll get both kids. The only way he would get them is if he had some extremely damning evidence that left them thinking you weren't a fit parent. (Even if he could prove to the judge that you had an affair 17 years ago that's no reason for the judge to take your kids away from you.)

    Good Luck and God Bless I'm proud that you have the strength to finally leave him!
    2murphyboys

    Answer by 2murphyboys at 5:41 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • Man, I am truly sorry. There is absolutely no reason for you to stay in a marriage where you are truley unhappy. It is ok to leave. your children will adjust. Life is too short. Be happy, live happy.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:46 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • Have you considered abortion? It's never a easy way out but you've been tied down to unwanted situations for so long, how much more can you take?
    tellis

    Answer by tellis at 6:58 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • Dont let him threaten you! If you arent happy get the hell out!! You have wasted enough time with him. Not to mention you are hurting your children too by staying with him and being so unhappy.
    kimberlyp552002

    Answer by kimberlyp552002 at 7:25 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • Its sounds like your doing the right thing by leaving. I think this is a lesson to others. Just because you are pregnant with someones baby does not mean you have to marry them. If you dont love them or you can't see your life with out them then please don't its only more heartache for you and your kids. And cheating was not the best choice you should have just left instead of cheating. However I'm happy you are not staying there anymore and I am happy you are getting out. Good Luck. This time don't look back.
    CuteCowgirlMami

    Answer by CuteCowgirlMami at 7:31 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • Find someone you can trust to walk you through this safely. A pastor, counselor, etc. You are not in a mental state to make good sound decision right now, get some help. Good luck!
    hannahjoy17

    Answer by hannahjoy17 at 8:12 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • I understand how you feel but if you are not happy please don't continue to stay in that relationship because it is not healthy for you or your children. Put what is important to you first and everything else will fall into place. Hold your head high and the answer will come.
    Mrs.LadyG716

    Answer by Mrs.LadyG716 at 8:28 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • Life is too short. Don't waste another moment of it. You deserve to be happy. Do whatever it takes to be happy.
    Eliza34

    Answer by Eliza34 at 8:41 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN