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How did those of you who had a miscarriage handle it?

I had a miscarriage on Friday night (June 12). I didn't know I was pregnant but it had crossed my mind. I was on BC, so really didn't think too much on it. I decided to get a HPT that day but before I could use it, I miscarried. I actually expelled the whole placenta with the amniotic sac attached to it. I didn't know what it was and scooped it out of the toilet and took it with me to the ER. They confirmed I was indeed very much pregnant. I didn't know how to take it and was just very blah about it and tried to see if I could donate it to Stem Cell Research. About 4 hours or so later, I broke down in tears and cried in the shower for nearly and hour. I blame it on myself completely. I was having some body image issues and forced myself to lose 13lbs in a week by starving myself and laxative use. I had thought I might be pregnant but was totally in denial about it and killed it... I feel so horrible...

Answer Question

Asked by SnuffonDigital at 6:33 PM on Jun. 15, 2009 in Pregnancy

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Answers (8)
  • One in four pregnancies end in miscarriage so don't feel guilty.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:37 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • I am very sorry. ((((many hugs)))) You are still probably shocked about this. Give it a while and let yourself feel badly and grieve as much as you feel like.

    Answer by Bmat at 6:38 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • well first you didn't know you were pregnant so don't blame yourself feelings or not, if i were on bc and having issues i'd think maybe i'm pregnant but would then tell myself no i'm on bc so then i'd wait even longer to take a test. m/c is hard no matter how far along you are, but most of the time they are caused by something being wrong w/the baby not by something you did. even if you weren't eating alot etc..the food you got would have gone straight to baby before it went to helping you out. so don't blame dieting etc..on your m/c. did you ask if they could find out why you m/c'd? they can run tests on the placenta etc to determine why it happened.

    Answer by vabchmommy at 6:38 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • You didn't know you were pregnant so there was nothing you could do. What you are describing about the laxatives and such is not a good thing to do NO MATTER WHAT but you were not intentinally trying to hurt your child so its NOT your fault. Besides that you don't know 100% percent that it was even caused from that. There are a hundred things that could have caused your misscarriage. I have never had one personally but my mother had 3 and she said that how she got through it was realizing that the reason those babies probably didn't make it was becuase they were going to have an unusually hard life and it was God's mercy on that child to go ahead and take him or her home.... I'm so sorry that this happened to you but you have learned a lot of things I'm sure that you can take with you into the future and possible into future pregnancies... You will be in my prayers.

    Answer by mrsbvader at 6:40 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • I've had two miscarriages so i know how you feel.....i was only about one month pregnant each time....miscarriage is really hard to take.....dont blame yourself for the miscarriage.....i was anorexic up until i was three months pregnant with my daughter.....i didnt find out i was pregnant until i was ten weeks along. sometimes if your body thinks that youre not ready for a baby itll do a spontaneous abortion....which is a miscarriage.....jsut keep trying to get pregnant if you want a baby.....itll happen eventually and youll be holding one of the greatest miracles in the world........I'm sry that you had to go through that kind of heartache......youll be in my prayers

    Answer by Blakesbabygirl at 7:08 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • I don't believe that you caused the MC. Almost every MC is the bodies way of solving a poorly formed, or defective fetus. Not something you did. My first loss was a full term bab, he died when he was 5 days old. 6 months later we had what was called a missed misscarry. The baby stopped growing at about 6 weeks but I showed no signs of a miscarry until 17 weeks. It was very much a double blow.
    Talking about it to people that cared helped but it is very much a personal journey. Talk to those who love you, cry when you want to and most of all learn to laugh. It is ok, it does not mean that you no longer hurt or care. You will find a new normal.

    Answer by littleredpony at 7:09 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • I've had a MC and I felt the same way that it was all my fault.... but it wasn't and you shouldn't feel that it's yours either. They told me taht the baby has a yok sack and that it doesn't even really use your nutrition until about 12 weeks. I dont know if that's really true but that's what my nurse told me when I lost my baby and blamed myself for it. Just remember that they happen so offten that most people don't even know that they are pg. it's not your fault hun!

    Answer by AshleyG. at 8:32 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • dont blame urself, i had a miscarriage because i chose to say with a man who liked to hit on me. you didnt know, im sorry you have to go through this hunny...

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

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