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Is it normal to question whether or not i will be a good mom?

Ok so i am super nervous...I am 24 and expecting my first daughter? I am so scared that i am going to be a bad mom! My mom and I never had the greatest relationship and i feel like I had missed out because of that1 I just dont want to follow in those steps, I want to be close with my children! I think i am just really nervous...I have no idea what to expect and i always find myself questioning if i will be a good mother. Is this normal?

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babygirl092009

Asked by babygirl092009 at 10:46 PM on Jun. 15, 2009 in Pregnancy

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Answers (10)
  • Oh, honey, every single woman questions it no matter who they are or what their experience with their mom was like. Everyone's experience with their children is different. I can't say whether you'll be a good mom or not, but just know that it's so totally normal to question your ability to do it. I think that's a sign of a good mother, at least. At least you have a conscience, yanno? Some women do whatever THEY want instead of what's good for their children, and the thought of being a good mother doesn't even cross their mind.

    And nobody will be able to fully prepare you for what's to come. I'm a first time mom, and my daughter is five months old. It's been such a roller coaster already, and no amount of reading or advice from other moms could have prepared me for everything.

    Just remember that you're not the first person to go through this and you won't be the last. You'll do just fine. If I can do it, you can do it =]
    caitxrawks

    Answer by caitxrawks at 10:50 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • oh thank you that makes me feel so much better!!!
    babygirl092009

    Answer by babygirl092009 at 10:51 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • YES!! I have the same kind of relationship with my mom and I remember crying to my husband that I was scared that I wasn't going to be a good mom because I never had an example of what a good mom was. I read every book out there so I could at least master all the "technical" stuff lol but when I had my children, the love just poured out naturally. How could I not love them? I don't know what my mom's problem is but I can only learn from it and remember how I always felt and make conscious efforts to never make my kids feel the same way!
    tangyh

    Answer by tangyh at 10:54 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • just the two answers i got are making me feel so much better! I think its just a scary transition in life and i cant wait to hold my beautiful baby girl and give her all the love i can i am just afraid that i wont know how to do that!!!
    babygirl092009

    Answer by babygirl092009 at 10:56 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • I agree that everyone thinks that at some point...my daughter is three weeks and I still question myself sometime...
    hug4akiss

    Answer by hug4akiss at 10:59 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • I personally think the people that have a fear of being a good mother, and think about it often are more often the best moms-
    it takes a person with lots of love and compassion to question something of that nature, if your worried chances are your gonna do great.
    I ask myself that question everyday.
    I also read a story every day to help me. Ill post it.
    judith_visco

    Answer by judith_visco at 10:59 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • I have a great relationship with my mom and I still questioned if I will be a good mom, with both of my pregnancies, it was worse with my second one, and on the day I went to deliver my second baby I was crying my eyes out to my husband cuz I didn't think I was going to love him as much as I loved my first one
    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 11:00 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • Chapter I

    I walk down the street.
    There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
    I fall in
    I am lost . . . I am helpless
    It isn’t my fault.
    It takes forever to find a way out.

    Chapter II

    I walk down the same street.
    There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
    I pretend I don’t see it.
    I fall in again.
    I can’t believe I am in the same place.
    But, it isn’t my fault.
    It still takes a long time to get out.

    Chapter III

    I walk down the same street
    There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
    I see it is there.
    I still fall in . . . it’s a habit.
    My eyes are open.
    I know where I am.
    It is my fault.
    I get out immediately.

    Chapter IV

    I walk down the same street.
    There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
    I walk around it.

    Chapter V

    I walk down a
    judith_visco

    Answer by judith_visco at 11:02 PM on Jun. 15, 2009

  • thank you to all you mommas that have made me feel better! it helps to know that i am not the only one out there questioning myself! I hope the best for all of you!!
    babygirl092009

    Answer by babygirl092009 at 3:58 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • Yes! I worried about this non-stop, I worried I was too young (I'm 28, crazy right?), too inexperienced with babies (I"d never changed a diaper)-- all kinds of crap. Once my baby came, I could give two shits about all that! You will be soo busy and overwhelmed, you will not even stop to think about what you're doing or how well you're doing it. The bottom line is it will be you and your husband/SO who will be feeding,changing, clothing, and caring for your baby and no one else. You will be up at all hours of the night caring for your baby and after all that you will not give a crap what anyone else thinks, you won't even be thinking 'am I a good mom?" b/c you'll be too busy mothering! Congrats. It is the most difficult, life changing thing to go through, but it is also great.
    danielp

    Answer by danielp at 4:30 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

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