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How would you do this. Friends child is an embarrassment in public

I have a good friend that has a 5 year old daughter who is very naughty in public. She runs around screaming, yells and hits her mom, grabs things off of shelves and throws food and runs around resturants. She also takes food off of your plate without asking. I cannot be in public with this child and my 13 yr old refuses to do anything with this child because she hits him. I don't know how to tell her that her daughter is the reason I don't want to do anything with her. My child isn't perfect but he didn't do these things when he was little, because I disciplined him. My friend thinks her daughter is cute and funny. HELP!!!!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:22 AM on Jun. 16, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Print off your question and the answers you're getting here and give it to her. It will at least open a conversation. Could be she is embarrassed, too and just laughs it off to cover up?
    timelessglass

    Answer by timelessglass at 12:28 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • Tell her point blank or stop hanging around her. Those are the 2 clearest choices to me. My friends children are awful and I have not been around her children or let mine go anywhere near them for over a year. When she asked why we weren't hanging out anymore, I told her that until she could control her own children I did not want to be present to be embarrassed or frustrated by their behavior any longer. We actually still talk, just not about the children, our different styles of parenting or setting play dates...cause it ain't gonna happen.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • You just come out and say, "I am sorry, I will not be going anywhere with you again until you learn how to discipline your child". Tell her, she is embarrasing you and you spent the time and love involved to raise your child right and maybe she should consider doing the same. You might need to piss her off, to get her to understand.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:26 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • Ok, I am gonna be honest and say that I couldnt do ANY of the things listed here. I am too much of a chicken and dont want to hurt anyones feelings.

    I would probably just start avoiding her or making excuses on why I couldnt go.

    Sorry if that is too pansy, I am just telling you what I would probably really do in this situation. ;)
    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 12:31 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • She laughs because she thinks her child is not an issue. She thinks it is normal for her 5 yr old to hit, punch, bite and pull her hair. She calls me laughing at how cute it is when her daughter does this. Her daughter is so bad in stores that I walk away. We recently went to dinner and her daughter was taking food off my son's plate and spitting water all over. I was the one to discipline her while her mom laughed. I have told her before, but she just has no clue. The funny thing is she taught preschool and never let the kids get away with this behavior. She knows child development and what is and isn't appropriate but she just doesn't think anything is wrong with her kid. I told her that is she doesn't discipline her daughter now, she will have major trouble when her daughter is a teenager and her daughter beats the crap out of her.

    Thanks for the ideas!!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:48 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • Ugh. I, too, would be a pansy and just avoid her!
    apexmommy

    Answer by apexmommy at 8:22 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • As hard as it will be for you, you need to tell her the truth. I don't blame you or your son for not wanting to be seen with them, but she should know the real reason. When you talk to her, you probably should offer her a few suggestions as to how she might effectively stop her child's bad behavior. You can also tell her that by allowing it to continue, she is contributing to the detriment of her child.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:13 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • OP here: she called me last night to find out when my son's next baseball game is and I told her. But I also told her that she had to control her child and she couldn't let her child bother my son and the other parents. She asked me what I was talking about because her daughter is always good. I told her that her daughter has a habit of being obnoxious and she doesn't do anything about it. I told her that the other parents will have major issues if she acts up and they can't watch the game. She then got upset and said that if I didn't want her daughter there to just tell her. I told her that as long as her daughter behaved and she disciplined her when she wasn't it wouldn't be a problem. Some of the parents at the games are very serious about these games and they will say something as will the others that will be with me. I have offered suggestions, etc but she just has no clue.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:40 AM on Jun. 16, 2009