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In your opinion is porn acceptable?

Back before my husband and I were married, I had blatantly expressed how I HATED Porn, and that I didnt like that DH had a huge stash of it on his computer. I asked if he would be willing to give it up, because I didnt want to be in a relationship where a guy had to look at such degrading pictures of women. I gave him ample time to get rid of all of the pictures. He had agreed. 3 or 4 months later, I find more pictures on our shared computer. So I confronted him about it. He agreed to get rid of them. Well we ended up getting pregnant. When I was 6 months pregnant we decided to get married. So then a few months later I find more pictures. So i decided to just delete them, and not even ask him about it. He was a little mad that I had deleted them without talking to him first, but I said he had promised, so he shut up about it. Well a while after that (CONT)

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:01 AM on Jun. 16, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • I think both you and your husband need to grow up a bit and find a compromise.

    You need to recognize that men are visual, that he was looking at porn before you came along, and that he's not going to change his habits.

    He needs to recognize that you don't like stumbling into his porn, and he needs to make a practice of either deleting pictures/videos or getting a personal computer so you don't have to deal with it.

    Some food for thought:

    -How often does he look at porn?
    -Does his porn viewing interfere with his duties as a husband and father?
    -How often do you have sex?
    -How often do YOU initiate sex?
    -How open are you to different sexual acts?
    -How often do you nag him, and how often do you make him feel like the king of his castle?

    I agree with this 100%.
    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 8:19 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • It's hard to blame a man for something you KNEW he enjoyed watching. You can't change him. He's always going to watch it no matter how much you interfere with his watching it. You can delete it and he'll get more. I have no problem with porn. I don't make a fuss over it and SO seldom watches it although we have plenty for him to watch. The cases are still sealed on some of them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:05 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • (CONT) I got a new computer, so I hadnt been using his. Well, now, six months later, my husband decides to wipe his computer clean, and get a new USB drive. Well he was acting so weird, and wouldnt even take care of the baby when she was crying. He just acted like deleting restoring his computer and putting all of his pictures on his USB was so important. Well after he was done, I asked if I could get all of the pictures of our daughter off of the USB and he said yes. So I plugged it into my USB cord. And imported all of the pictures. And up comes this NASTY picture of angelina jolie. He was right next to me when a huge picture of her popped up. He had the most shocked look on his face and was like oh i thought i had deleted those a long time ago! and I thought he had too. So I believed him. So Later on he was all like Im not happy with how our relationships going. (CONT)
    Rebekahs_Mommy

    Answer by Rebekahs_Mommy at 1:05 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • if he looked before and it didnt mysteriously start with you then I think its fine. some men just like that. My SO doesnt but a lot of men do...
    Dom123123

    Answer by Dom123123 at 1:08 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • Okay. really ...
    To me, porn is not a big issue. DH is in the army. He's stationed in Iraq. We BOTH watch porn.

    However, you shoul've forseen that this was going to be a problem. AND he should be doing what he said he was going to do.

    Sounds like there are other issues at hand besides porn.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 1:08 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • In our relationship porn is no big deal I much rather my husband masturbate to a porno rather than go out and cheat. Also it was proven in a study that just because men are watching porn it doesn not mean that they are thinking of her chances are he is zoning out to the porn and thinking of you. Men are not like us with the creative minds we can just cause our eyes make up a scene and go to town , men need visuals. Porn isn't acceptable in every relationship but it isn't a problem in mine
    JAJA_Steele

    Answer by JAJA_Steele at 1:09 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • (CONT) He said, "Im sick of you taking all of your emotional baggage and putting it on me" well I asked him to explain, and he said never mind and wouldnt talk to me. I told him that he was just mad that I had caught him with porn again. He knew when we first got into this relationship that I hated it, and he promised he wouldnt watch it. I told him that I didnt trust him any more with it. And he had the nerve to say that I had broken his trust first by deleting his porn. What the hell? He knew I hated the stuff, and he agreed to get rid of it,. WHY agree that he wont do it just to lie about it for so long? I dont get it? Do I have a right to be a little mad about it? Or am I being to harsh. I do love him, but I hate him lying to me. About the one thing that I truly hate.
    Rebekahs_Mommy

    Answer by Rebekahs_Mommy at 1:11 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • Well, the his last relationship was a messed up one. He was really serious with the last GF. But it started when they were in highschool, and they dated for 4 years. He made the mistake of letting her have sex with other people as long as she told him about it, and as long as it wasnt emotional just physical. Well, sooner or later she started sleeping around. ALOT. With everyone. No discretion. After awhile, she fell in love with someone new, and dumped him. Well a year later, we start dating. But I guess in between the year he had gotten used to watching porn because he didnt have a SO. He said now that I have a real GF, I dont need the porn anymore. Well apparently he still watches it behind my back.
    Rebekahs_Mommy

    Answer by Rebekahs_Mommy at 1:16 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • Im just so mad, I dont know what to DO! He is laying in bed alone, and i am sitting on my laptop typing. I dont know if I can forgive him so easily. What do I do ladies??? Anyone have any advice???
    Rebekahs_Mommy

    Answer by Rebekahs_Mommy at 1:17 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • what exactly about it do you hate so much?? it's just people having sex. My SO doesn't watch it, but if he did I wouldn't mind, I'd watch it with him. Odds are he isn't thinking of the girl from the porno when you 2 are having sex.
    HisMommySince07

    Answer by HisMommySince07 at 1:18 AM on Jun. 16, 2009