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other mom's who have went through this..

Im thinking about leaving my Dh, I went and put in a application for an apartment.

I dont have any family to help me or even talk to my parents have both passed away and im the only child i dont really have alot of friends who would understand what im going through.

Yes this is my decision im not happy and our lives are going in the same direction, I tell him over and over why im not happy and he doesn't get it or just doesnt think i will leave i dont know which,

But I feel like the biggest failure right now i havent told my kid's yet but then again maybe i should just stay miserably married to make my kiddo's happy.

So my ? is what was your final straw that made you leave, How did you balance making your kids feel everything would be ok? And What are my rights since ive always been a SAHM, Our vehicle is in his name only, so i wont even have a vehicle what am i to do.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:42 AM on Jun. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Well my parents are divorced, and i was happy when they didn't because they were constantly fighting and my dad was abusive to my mom. As a stay at home mom, you could apply for housing, and get help form the state as far as money/ or have him pay child support. If he has a job and can afford a car, you can request to have the car in the divorce agreement. I don't know how old your kids are but if they see that mom and dad aren't happy there not going to be happy, sometimes it better for the kids for you guys to be separated. I'd say if he's a good dad then do 50/50 custody and let the kids have the option to see him when they want, granted if there punished at your house he keeps the ground in affect as his.
    vgiron

    Answer by vgiron at 7:48 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • you cant stay married for your kids...if you arent happy sooner or later they wont be...who wants a mom who is in funk and not happy...you deserve to be happy, so do your kids...but tell them that it isnt them....and it isnt there dad...people grow apart...be honest...thats all you can do
    Mamaof2boys0709

    Answer by Mamaof2boys0709 at 8:00 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • save you some money first off!!! you want to make sure that you will have the money to cover any kind of expense that may come up. you want to make totally sure that leaving him is REALLY what you want. it's hard when your children are in the mix...but the younger they are, the easier it is...but you want to make sure that not even a little part of you wants to stay...and then you should consider this...
    im really glad that you are putting your kids first in this situation. but you need to remember, having both parents there isn't always the best solution...you will see that your happiness affects your children, even though they may not understand. sometimes, when mommy is stressed they are stressed, or when mommy is sad, they are sad and ect. so in consideration for your children, if you are not happy and you see a divorce coming in the future anyways...the it is honestly better to leave sooner than later. best of luck
    melissacoulter

    Answer by melissacoulter at 8:09 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • OMG!! If this doesn't sound like me! I tottally understand what you are feeling. I also am a stay at home mom, Marriage is down the drain, I also try to stay for the kids because I didn't have a father growing up. My family resides in another state, so I have noone to talk to. I know this is the hardest decision to make. I am in the process of trying to find a job so I can save some money and GET OUT! Trying to go through this on your own is SO HARD!!!! My Mom is so old fashion, I can't even talk to her! I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL :( I do wish you the best of luck. I wish myself luck also :) Hang in there, because when one door closes another will open :)
    gollo98

    Answer by gollo98 at 11:54 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • yes i know how you feel too. The last straw for me was when i opened my eyes and realized i didnt have to live like that anymore and it wasnt my fault. I had the same complaint over the years and his was always something different. I tried to change for him but o boy did i get in trouble if i slipped up. we separated and when he left it was like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. My kids are having a little trouble with it some because they didnt really understand. They never saw any problems because i liked to keep them hid from them. i just tell them that sometimes 2 people just cant get along and live together. Don't want to bash their dad. i know in the long run its better for them because he pays more attention to them than he did before. which of course they don't notice. I didnt want them to see my marriage as the way it was suppose to be.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:08 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

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