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has this happend to you?

My husband will not have intamacy with me as much as we used to and i have not a clue why? Sometimes i feel its because im getting fatter or because i dont do anything right. what is it i dunno but yeah please help
Kalise

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Drummermommie90

Asked by Drummermommie90 at 7:53 AM on Jun. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • if he wont have sex with you cause you are getting a little bigger, f- him...i mean who care, love has nothing to do with weight or looks, either you love someone for who they are on the inside or you dont...ask him...hey why wont you love me up no more...lol....just be honest and tell him you wanna know why....
    Mamaof2boys0709

    Answer by Mamaof2boys0709 at 7:57 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • Are you getting bigger because you are pregnant or something else?Men are funny when a woman is pregnant, and it has nothing to do with the woman.If you know you do things right, don't ever let anyone tell you how to do it, everyone is different. The way they do it and the way you do things are completely different.Men think that when a woman is pregnant that the baby can feel it if they are intimate and I don't believe that anyone could tell them any different to make them believe it.Just laugh it off. its the only way. He can't know how you feel and you can't know how he feels about it. Talk to him, ask questions and see what kind of answers you get.If you ask the questions that are on your mind and he answers them then you have never said anything negative towards him.Make sense?
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 8:02 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • If your getting fat, its really f*cked up of him. But if your pregnant and getting bigger, he could be afraid to hurt the baby, or the idea of having sex while your pregnant is just not appealing to him
    vgiron

    Answer by vgiron at 8:02 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • hmmmm.... I agree with the other ladies. If you're pregnant and getting bigger that's one thing. Did you possibly just have a baby? Maybe he's exhausted from work. I know before our babies, we would be up 5 nights a week at least. Now, we may squeeze in time on a weekend night, but if that doesn't happen, then we'll try to get to it the next weekend. It really sucks and sometimes I wonder if he's even still attracted to me, but I asked him and he said I was crazy and that he still is. GL and I would just talk to him about it! There may be more than just the physical going on... Maybe stress? Extra work wearing him out?
    mommystiebler

    Answer by mommystiebler at 8:16 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • I agree with the others as well. I really don't know what to say but just sit down and have a talk with him.
    Christine0813

    Answer by Christine0813 at 8:45 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • whatever HIS problem is, you can't keep blaming yourself, hon. so you've gained weight..is he still the hot little ticket he was the first time you met him? is he concerned about his looks/making himself attractive for you? and yes, you DO do things right..don't let that eat at you either. when you talk to him about this, he's likely to be weirded out; men don't really like talking about their feelings/intimacy..take it slow, non-accusatory, and remind him how much you love him and see this as a stumbling block in your relationship. sex isn't the cornerstone of a marriage, but intimacy is. good luck!
    thehairnazi

    Answer by thehairnazi at 8:59 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • There could be a lot of reasons. You might ask yourself some questions. Have you put him down privately or publicly or shown him disrespect in any way? Have you questioned his judgment on some important issues? Have you betrayed him in any way, told something that you should have kept confidential? Do you regularly compliment him, thank him for providing for the family, working hard, being a man of integrity? Or does he maybe feel like you take all that for granted? Is there any possibility that he doesn't see himself as the number one person of priority in your life? Does he feel secondary to the children, your folks, or your friends? Do you ask his opinion on matters of concern to you? I think we women sometimes forget that our husbands have feelings, too, and that those feelings are pretty fragile. The difference is that very few men will tell you when they have been hurt. It might be wise to ask him if you did.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:20 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • Have you talked to him about it? You can speculate all you want, but he's the one with the answers.
    abbynzachsmommy

    Answer by abbynzachsmommy at 9:27 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • All the answers above me were really good ones. I wouldn't stress to much about it. Some guys worry they will hurt the baby by having intercourse with us. But its totally safe. I am 34 weeks pregnant and I notice me and my b/f don't do it as much either. Its for that reason right there. Hes just scared. You can't be mad at him that will only get him upset and nothing will get solved. You just need to have a nice conversation with your man and ask him how he is feeling. Also being intimate with one another doesn't nessiarly mean penitration. Play with sex! Do other things that will satisfy both of you! Connect with one another, enjoy being man and woman b/c soon there will be 3 of you and less time for sex anyways. Try not to take it so personal hunnie, at first I did too but you have to realize men work differently than us so to get your answers just talk with him.
    Ames826

    Answer by Ames826 at 10:57 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • I'm sure by know you have talk to him till you are blue in the face, it comes a time when you haft to be tru to you and be good to you if you know wht i mean and make the hard decisions about your life BUT the bottom line take care of yourself and don't feel guilty!
    Ninij

    Answer by Ninij at 1:36 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

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