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How do you know if you should get married?

I've been with the father of my son for almost 3 years He wanted to get married as soon as he found out i was pregnant, I said i didn't want to get married just because i was having a baby, well that was two years ago, now he is planing on going to Iraq as a Civilian Contractor, I would like to be married (at least officially) before he leaves, when i brought it up though he didn't sound excited about it he just said 'it make economical sense.' now i'm wondering if he actually wants to get married because he loves me or if he's just doing it out of obligation for his son, not to mention it makes me wonder if we together out of love or because of our son. he swears he loves me and he always talks about spending the rest of our lives together, he is extremely sweet but i just don't know if it is really heart felt or just words! and i don't know if it is just my fears of making a huge mistake making all this into something biger

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Asked by DragoFly at 9:20 AM on Jun. 16, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (4)
  • How is your relationship with him. Is he respectful and you get along well? Are his actions showing you that he loves you? Guys cant always accurately express their feelings, but if his actions are showing love then a piece of paper wont change that. Maybe you can tell him you love him and want to spend the rest of your life with him, nothing has changed except you are ready to make that statement to the world. Economic sense or not, you are choosing him as your partner for life and you want to know if he is in for the same reasons, if not you will wait til he is ready, just like he has respectfully waited on you.

    Answer by ria7 at 9:42 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • Marry him!! This is the man that you have chosen to be the father of your child. My guess is when you refused to marry him when he asked you the first time, he was deeply wounded and hurt by your refusal. What you really did then was question his love for you, and that's what you are still doing. I also think that the reason he said that it makes economical sense was he thought you might marry him on that basis since you refused to marry him before on the basis of his love for you and your child. Men are very sensitive about such things, but unlike women, they do not talk about their feelings. If I were you, I would tell him that I made a mistake three years ago, that I should have married him then. I would ask him to please forgive me for not having seen how important it was, and I would promise to be the best wife a man ever had. I believe you have a good man, so start planning a ceremony!!!

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:48 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • I think you should marry him.Just ignore his little remark.God forbid if something bad happened and he didn't come home, you would really regret not marrying him then.But I am sure he willl come back safe and sound.

    Answer by evelynwest at 1:43 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • Don't marry him. From reading your posts it sounds like you have doubts. Have you been reading the posts on these boards? It would make me think twice about getting married. LOL...that was just a joke.

    Seriously, if I wasn't absolutely certain that it was the right time I wouldn't do it. Good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:37 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

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