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Best friend issues, should I confront?

My bf recently lost her internet access, so I let her use mine to back some stuff up. She finished & I didn't touch the computer until this morning.
She was saving some emails from a penpal she had back in 2006 & left the files up. I didn't want to read them, but my name caught my eye & I just couldn't help it (especially with being the awful friend that I am)

She was just flat out lying to this guy, like telling him I was living with her & wouldn't help pay any of the bills (we've never lived together), complaining about my kid (who was barely 2 at the time) & how awful I was for changing her diapers in front of her then 3yo son (even though she still took baths with him), & venting to him how irritating I was when I would come over ( even thought I lived 4 hours away, only came up once a month & only came when invited).
Some of the things she said really hurt me, especially since we've been friends for almost 10 years.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:12 AM on Jun. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Wow, I would just tell her exactly what you said here. She left it up and it caught your eye...and you are hurt.

    Answer by Chick at 10:18 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • You would not beable to hold me back..

    I would say something to her ASAP....
    Not sure if I would still continue the relationship either..

    Answer by Dannee at 11:00 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • I would be very hurt to read such things especially from a so-called friend. Yes, I think I would confront her and say 'you left this up, and I did read it. wow, I am hurt that you could say such things about me." I don't know if I would continue being friends with someone like that.....

    Answer by MizLee at 11:17 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • I would say something too. Who wants a friend that would treat you like that. You were trying to be nice and let her use your computer and that's the thanks you get. She'll make it about you looking at her e-mail "how terrible it is to have a friend so untrustworthy", that kind of thing. But really she is the one not to be trusted. I'm sorry your friend treated you like that, but it makes me wonder what else she has said and how good a friend she really is?

    Answer by wallmom1 at 11:58 AM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • I with everyone else here, this is terrible. I would confront her immediately and not apologize for reading the email, but instead tell her that you're happy you read it so you could see what she really thought of you. Or if you don't want to admit it, tell her that you've been feeling some animosity between you two and you're wondering what's wrong, give her a chance to open up and then if she lies tell her about the email.

    Answer by justbrandi111 at 12:06 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • It's your computer, so the whole 'expectation of privacy' is a no-go. She left it up for you to see, or didn't care if you saw it, or is a totally insensitive twit who has no idea what effect her words have on others...

    Just out of curiosity... has it been your experience of this woman that she *tends* to be kind and respectful of people who are not present? I mean, does she slag her other friends to you when they're not around? Some behaviour is so typical of people, but we don't say anything about it until we realize they're exactly the same about us when we're not there. Ouch!

    I wouldn't confront her -- what would that accomplish? She doesn't need to know that you know she behaves badly. But I also wouldn't go 4 seconds out of my way to visit her, or help her out ever again, either. If she calls and invites, you're sorry that you're busy and it just won't work this time -- every time until she gets the message.

    Answer by LindaClement at 12:42 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • I wouldn't confront her.But the next time she asks to use your computer, tell her no.I think she wanted you to see what you read.Maybe she isn't a good friend like you thought.

    Answer by evelynwest at 1:23 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • I sounds like she is a hater. She seems to not like you and probably has not for a long time. That's pretty low down to talk about youand on your own computer! I wonder if she did it on purpose, so that you could see it. I'm really sorry, about that. Some times it just does not pay to try to have friends.

    Answer by my2kids312 at 2:45 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

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