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How can I get my husband to focus on our new baby instead of himself?

My husband loves to have new "toys" all the time . . . New TV, XBOX, guitar, computers . . . He gets really upset when I tell him that we can't buy anything because we now have a 7 week old and will be paying for full-time daycare soon. Any suggestions on how to get through to him? On a side note: Does anyone else have a husband that is obsessed with video games? How do you get him to help you or spend time with his child?

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Jen082809

Asked by Jen082809 at 1:10 PM on Jun. 16, 2009 in Money & Work

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Answers (9)
  • i dont but thats disturbing
    SweetiePieAfWf

    Answer by SweetiePieAfWf at 1:12 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • I am always stunned to see questions like this. Before deciding to get married and have a baby, this is something that adults discuss: budgets, priorities, goals, dreams aspirations. Tell your husband to grow up or get out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:13 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • well, i think all men have that streak in them. i think what you should do is maybe have someone watch your new baby (congrats btw) for an hour or 2 and tell him to sit down, tell him not to interupt you and express your feelings, tell him that times are tough right now and with a new baby, you need all the money you can get (trust me, my dd is 21 months old and my df has been laid off for a couple weeks so the money was left up to me, but i make 7.50 and hour, hardly enough to support a household.) dont get angry, dont swear just tell him, then let him express how he feels about it, it may just be a tough time for him too, men dont take to children like we do. so take it slow and you will make it thru this. good luck!
    xhellxfirex495

    Answer by xhellxfirex495 at 1:14 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • He was like that before you married him, why did you think he would change??????????????
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:19 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • 1. He wasn't like this before I married him. He has evolved into his current state over the last couple of years.

    2. Negative comments are not exactly helpful. I came on here for support and some creative ideas to help me.

    3. * xhellxfirex495 - thank you for your suggestion.
    Jen082809

    Answer by Jen082809 at 1:31 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • Most men don't understand how to cope with the new scary responsibility of a baby. Yes, he knew for 9 months, but now it's REAL. He may be escaping in some way by playing his games, just a guess there... I would do like the other suggestion, ask him for a few minutes of private time to talk about it. Tell him your concerns, write it all down before you talk to him, read it from a list if you have to, ask him to make you feel better about the situation. Sometimes if you give them a "task", like explain why you're acting this way, it will put them on the right track to respond. Simply put, men don't know how to communicate. (no offense to your hubby lol). It is important that you get to the bottom of it, and it may be nothing but him being a big ol' kid. Either way, he needs to step up and be a better, more responsible daddy.
    customcat2000

    Answer by customcat2000 at 1:39 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • Dr. Phil just did a show about men and video games. i dodint see it, but you could check his website. I think it is a bigger problem than we could imagine. Lots of women inyour shoes. Men seem like big kids sometimes.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 2:25 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • sounds like my house.

    I just propped baby up beside him with the bottle or whatever and left the room. it was trial by fire and worked like a charm.
    hypermamaz

    Answer by hypermamaz at 4:08 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • my husband is and always has been addicted to video games since day one we have been together for 4 years when i sat him down to talk about what i concidered "his problem" he explained to me that how he deals with stress it his excape away from "the real world". babies arent inteactive to MOST (not all) men until they do things like start eating foods crawling Etc. now my daughter is 22 months old and they spend so much time together and they are so close she even prefers him over me to put her to bed take advantage of the time u have with ur baby because they grow so fast and u will miss it Good Luck Hope this helps
    newsmom101

    Answer by newsmom101 at 12:21 AM on Jun. 17, 2009

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