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Help me out here (christans)

I'm having some issues with my MIL , she is cheating on my FIL, (in public no less) while things are moving with divorces, how am I n my husband supposed to forgive her, it is one of the commandments. Either of us doesn't want her be around our family but we still have to forgive her. How should we handle this?


Asked by rebel07 at 1:13 PM on Jun. 16, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 13 (1,262 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Forgiveness is a matter of choice. God has commanded that we forgive or He cannot forgive us. You just choose to make your will the same as His. It doesn't happen the first time I choose. I have to choose over and over again. You will still feel some animosity in the beginning. Every time you do, choose again to forgive. In time, you will notice that your feelings have changed and you do not react to the person in the old familiar ways. Forgiveness does not mean that the relationship can go back to being the way it used to be. In fact, that very rarely happens. It can, but that means all the parties involved have to want it to be the same and have to be willing to work towards that end. You just choose to be done with it and to let God handle it for you. There is much freedom to be found once you have let all the stuff go into His very capable hands.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:52 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • Tell her you'll pray for her and give your FIL whatever support he needs. That's terrible.

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 1:14 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • While I am not a Christian I might be able to give you some perspective from the outside. Did God ask you to judge people's sins, or tell you he would? Are you really the ones who need to forgive her for sinning? I think what you need to forgive her for (or not) is hurting the family with her selfish behavior. Don't use your religious beliefs to avoid doing so. It is perfectly normal for you to feel she has broken a sacred law and dislike that. But have you never sinned in the eyes of your God? Did she make herself judge of those actions in place of your Lord? Even if she had (which would be pretty hypocritical) it wouldn't be right by the standards of your belief. Since you are saying you don't want to be around her than you can take your time comming to forgive her hurtful actions, but according to your theology it is not your place to forgive her for sinning.

    Answer by nysa00 at 1:19 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • although its hard and seems to drain us mentally at times we must remembre that one of the most important things Jesus ever said is that 'the world would know that we were hs disciplees through our love one for the othr ' this circumstance although painful to bare is a matter with which must be handled in like personal advice would be as a christain to not condone the behavior and state the obvious when opportunity emerges but to still love the far as your view of the person...perception of a person that does things such as this are always hard to swallow, but remember , God does still love her and if u show the same love, it is possible for her to maybe get the point ur actions are getting across and maybe even make different dec=sicions ..hope this helps you =)

    Answer by godsgirl26 at 1:24 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • *OP* to Nysa00 ......My husband needs to forgive her because not only has it affected FIL it does affect our lives, my husband is always thinking I'm cheating or I'm gonna cheat, if his own mother would do something like that any woman would.? Good point though...

    Answer by rebel07 at 1:25 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • Your mil has to live with her choices.Your husband can hate her behavior and bad choices and still love her for being his mom.I think when your husband is ready he should tell her how he feels about what she did.

    Answer by evelynwest at 1:31 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • Funny thing is nysa, being non-christian, seems to know alot about it, and she sounds like she should be christian. I agree with her, but we are to love all people, and do be there for FIL. She is wrong, but God makes final judgement so pray for her soul but mind her business. if ur husband has issues with u now that his mother did this, u should reassure him that is not the case, and if he thinks that, ur marriage is in trouble as well

    Answer by mumma28 at 1:41 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • It is not your place to judge only God should do that. It is expected of you to forgive, because Jesus has forgiven you and everyone else of all sins. Pray for her and forgive her otherwise you will not be forgiven of your sins.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:59 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • You have to forgive people as Jesus forgave but . We have all sin and fallen short of the Glory of God so Jesus forgave you so we have to forgive and pray that God can help her and show her the right way to go...


    Answer by hinson7169 at 2:58 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • pray for God to give you the strength to forgive.

    for give as you want Jesus to for give you. we are all with sin and the only way to wash it clean is through Jesus Christ.

    i will pray for you and your family

    Answer by rose549 at 3:11 PM on Jun. 16, 2009