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Regarding my precious baby girl....

Maybe I am overreacting but my daughter and I just don't get along LOL and she's only 3. However, her and her daddy are in-seperable. I dunno if it's just me but she came out looking just like his mother (and I hated her through out my whole pregnancy) and it's like they just understand each other better. I am a bit jealous to be honest b/c my mother and I didn't have a great relationship either, I too was daddy's girl. She's like evil towards me I swear, she even gives me evil eyes and it seem almost like she doesn't want me even around my SO (her dad) . When she gets in trouble she runs to him and looks back at me with the most evil look and that look alone makes me wanna spank her again. Any sugguestion?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:43 PM on Jun. 16, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (5)
  • Just don't spank her out of jealousy. Make sure she is disciplined within reason and constantly playing you against your partner is undisciplined. She's old enough to do some chores and she's old enough to be told no and understand although tantrum through it. Don't buy her what she demands. My dd was the same way as a teen years later I still have to keep a handle on her. Leaving the house for errands, whereever, visits explain rules have her repeat them back or be calm while you explain. Explain rules again before you leave house. If she tantrums then leave whereever you are, take groceries to check out and ask them to put them in freezer for you (I've had that done for me no problems when I've had cold products). Step ladder her let her know ahead of time rules and punishments. Stepladder is when one punishment is set and if another bad behaviour happens when that punishment is in place or could happen then addon.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:15 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • If you feel this is a severe problem counsellling could help for first you and s o then maybe add in dd.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:17 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • OP_no no don't get me wrong I wouldn't just spank my child if there wasn't a legitimate reason for it in the first place, and typically it's if she's been warned about the same things over and over, or if she is doing something that is dangerous to her and/or her brother. My jealously has nothing to do with her punishments, I love my little girl she is an awesome person,just sometimy and absolutely nothing like me, and she has really grown up ways. I don't really know how to approach it because she is so young and understands things to a certain extent. I just don't want our relationship to be strained at all and I don't want he to grow up to resent or hate me because she feels I didn't try.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:28 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • Are you and your dh both consistent with discipline? If you choose to spank, is he also spanking her? If you are the only one disciplining, yeah, she's going to run to him to avoid it! :) He needs to be on board with what you choose. It's not the evil eye, I promise. I also would encourage you to seek some counseling over you and your mom's relationship. You don't want your mother's mistakes hindering your relationship with your little one.
    apexmommy

    Answer by apexmommy at 9:27 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • I knew someone with this same situation. The mother decided to go to counciling with the little girl. Play therapy. Apparently it's helping. They try to figure out what triggers the little girl to do the things she does and they are trying to get the mom and dad to discipline consistently (she was a daddy's girl too).

    Personally, I didn't have a good relationship with my mom and feared what that would do with my daughter, if I had one (and I did). I was in individual councilling for my marriage and it actually ended up being about my relationship with my mom and recognizing what that did to me and how it makes me react to situations today. That really helped me relate to my hubby and daughter better.

    Just remember to always express love and patience and i know that's hard. They pick up on your emotions/tone. Really try the councilling.

    Good luck!
    lynnard

    Answer by lynnard at 1:32 AM on Jun. 17, 2009

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