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Do you think a single mom should start a new relationship with a man in the Navy?

I am a 23 year old single mom who has met a guy whose in the Navy. We have been communicating for months now and we both seem to be very interested in each other. My fear is if I should even persue a possible long-term relationship as a single mom, knowing the formal image (husband + wife, then kids) that seems the most common in military families.

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Asked by Anonymous at 5:11 PM on Jun. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • You seem to have a pre concived notion about what is common in a military family.

    My DH had a kid then got married. Then got divorced and re married (me, of course).

    It all depends on if you can handle the military lifestyle. Some woman can. Some woman cant. And trust is a MUST. good luck to you.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 5:17 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • My boyfriend was enlisted in the Marines, but bc of past medical problems had to be dismissed, so I have a little bit of experience in this feild, and if youre willing to not be able to talk to your man for periods of time, not see him for even longer periods of time & if you fall in love with him then sure! Date a sailor! & its not all bad, military men make a lot of money and get great insurance for their dependents & shoot, it all goes back to whether or not hes good to you & good to your child/ children!

    Answer by TayMicGab at 5:18 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • Gonna be honest (and I'm a navy wife) the whole husband + wife THEN baby is not very common at all. In fact, my husband and I are one of the few couples I know who didnt already have kids when they married.

    Answer by abbynzachsmommy at 5:19 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • It's an honor to date or marry someone in the military. But I'm confused about your comment on Husband + Wife then kids. Isn't that the normal progression of any relationship, military or not? I'm not saying you have to get married, you're only 23. But if you like him and enjoy his companionship, then pursue the relationship. Don't worry about marriage yet.. goodness.. Just enjoy each other. Send him letters while he's away.. Develop a great relationship with him, one that's not based on physical contact.

    Answer by CoolGirlChris at 5:26 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • Thank you for all the advise, and I apologize for the generalization on military families. I made to quick of an assumption based on the lives of my friends & family members that are now involved in military families and they all semed to follow that pattern.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:30 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • In my opinion, you will seldom find a more honorable man than a military man. There are some good civilians too.

    In general, if a man loves you, he loves you with or without children, if a man wants to leave you he will with or without children as well. If he loves you, the fact that you already have a child should not be an impediment for him to marry you, as a matter of fact, your child will be one more dependent, meaning more money in his pocket if he marries you.

    The key here is if he is right for you and if you can leave with the military spouse demands. Long deployments, being second to his command, being mom and dad, I mean there is just so much that it could overwhelmed some but if you have a strong bond and get married for the right reasons, you can build a very exiting life together and your child will definitively benefit from the experience.

    Answer by bebita at 5:39 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • Do you really want to take your child away from his/her father. I dont know what you consider single mother. Some mommies consider themselves a single mommy & still have the childs father involved--Im guessing thats what you are. Anyhow. being in the military, there is a lot of moving and ups & downs. Do you really want to break you child away from his/her biological father, and if so , what does the father say. ? ? ?

    Answer by BooHooMommy at 5:43 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • boohoo mommy makes my point exactly...ask yourself if you want to have to move if told to, if you could handle your man having to go to war. Can you live your live knowing you have no say in it, because he serves uncle sam and america? it takes a special type of woman to be able to ahandle your kids, how do they feel about all the above? would their father ebven let them move around if they had to? lots to consider besides the dynamics of what comes first....

    Answer by Bearsjen at 10:24 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • Actually, that's not what a common military family is like at all! I was a single mom with my daughter before I met and married my husband (who is in the army). We have now been married almost a year and have a son together. You never know about something until you give it a chance. Hell, what does it hurt if you already know you've taken chances on worse? (I know I sure did!)

    Answer by Mrs.Wasson at 12:02 AM on Jun. 17, 2009

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