Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My Husband smokes and won't quit!

So I am the Mother of 3 and have the most amazing Husband. He works 55+ hrs a week so I can stay home and raise our kids, he is sincere, kind, loving and a great Father and Husband. I truly couldn't ask for more in a Man. But there is one thing that I cannot stand, he smokes and won't quit. I have never picked up a cigarette in my life and can't imagine how a person picks up that habit. Our oldest Son has major health issues and is in a wheelchair and ever since he was diagnosed with his disease we have tried to better ourseleves. With our Son we have learned to never take anything for granted and your life and body shouldn't be waisted. We workout like crazy, eat healthy and we take hikes and bike rides with the kids at least 3 days a week. He doesn't smoke in the house or around us but says he wants to be healthy. My Mom says to leave him alone since that's about the only thing that he does wrong. What should I do?

Answer Question
 
mommymine3

Asked by mommymine3 at 7:14 PM on Jun. 16, 2009 in Health

Level 3 (20 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • He does sound like he would like to quit for his health. Have you tried hypnosis?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:15 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • I agree with your mom. I am an ex smoker and a current health nut. ...leave him alone. But make sure that he knows that you will be there to support him when he is ready to quit. ...You know they say it can be as hard as quiting harder drugs like heroin.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 7:18 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • my hubby smoked as well and a lot of my friends hubbys. They talked to the dr and got some pills to stop smoking. The ones my hubby got made him nausuas (SP) when he smelled the smoke and if he took a puff he'd throw up. After a week he didn't want one and still doesn't. It's been 2 months now and all my friends hubbys got something similar and quit within a few days! I would try that route.... the habit and quiting by oneself is VERY VERY hard!!! My dad quit cold turkey and was grumpy.... after smoking for 27 years he still wants one. My hubby doesn't. IMO get a med!
    07lilmama1108

    Answer by 07lilmama1108 at 7:21 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • You can't make anyone quit...they have to want to quit, and be able to do it for themselves.
    If he's not doing it in the house or around you or the kids...I'd just leave it alone.

    My DF smokes..and I'm like you, have NEVER ever even done as much as "tried" it...and have no idea how you get along to LIKE doing that...but whatever, I try to be sympathetic because it IS an addiction. He doesn't smoke around me or the baby and doesn't do it in the house or the car...mostly just at work or he'll step outside in the evening to have one...and I don't really like the habit either...but I just deal with it. It's his body and his health, and I've tried explaining things..but he's hard headed and stubborn. So as much as I don't like it...I just deal...there's MUCH MUCH worse he could be doing...
    carliemarie1015

    Answer by carliemarie1015 at 7:22 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • Agree with your mom , let him be , it's somthing a person has to really want to do them selves. No matter how bad some one else might want it for you , it still comes down to them wanting it there self. ( and this might be his one thing that helps him relieve stress.) I have really tried to quiet myself but I still in the back of my mind feel that it is my one and only release at times. ( and I agree it is easier to give up drinking or some other drugs than it is smoking cig) just be supportive, He does care about you and your family and sounds like he shows it.( by working, spending time with youn's and by going out side to smoke) just keep lovin the man
    Shaqbe4u

    Answer by Shaqbe4u at 7:26 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • If he doesn't want to quit he will not. When you don't want to quit the more you are bugged about it the more you will want to smoke.
    ColleenF30

    Answer by ColleenF30 at 7:34 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • Tell him that you are going to take out a really big life insurance policy unless he quits. Offer to make an appointment with his doctor to get a prescription for Chantix.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:31 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • You cannot force someone to quit anything if they are not ready or willing to do so. You could have your kids tell him that they want him to live and to quit smoking. You could have your son's doctor tell him how much damage he is doing to your already, hurting child. Do not push him, you can threaten, scream, yell , etc but NOTHING will work until he is ready and it doesn't sound like he is there yet.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:07 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

  • ~OP~ tyfry7496:

    You could have your son's doctor tell him how much damage he is doing to your already, hurting child.

    What do you mean damage he's doing to our child. He doesn't smoke in the house or anywhere around us. I think the kids have seen him smoke maybe twice. And he always washes his hands after he comes in.

    mommymine3

    Answer by mommymine3 at 9:52 PM on Jun. 16, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.