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TORN!!!

Ok so my sister and brother in law are in the middle of a divorce, and not to bash anyone, but I think my sister is crazy. My brother in law is a good man, hard worker, provides for his family, took my niece in and cared for, loved and gave her a home (she's not biologically his), and I know for a fact he loves my sister with all his heart. She never had to work, except for selling avon, she got to stay home with her kids and homeschool. I was so jealous of her life because thats all I ever wanted but I ended up marrying a dead beat that wouldn't work and didn't want children with me. Anyway, I love my brother in law, he's honestly like the brother I never had and I feel so bad for him now. My sis and the kids are staying with me, but I want to continue my relationship with BIL too, and we do talk about every other day, strictly friendship. My sis told me there was going to come a day I had to choose....what do I do!!!!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:36 AM on Jun. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • I dont think your sister should tell you that you have to choose. my mom and dad divorced and my grandparents on my moms side loved my dad and they still talk to him alot to this day and its been like 10 years since the divorce. You talk to who you want to talk to and are friends with who you want to be friends with dont let ANYONE tell you that you have to choose between the two of them. I have lost alot of good friends because of that. I would talk to her about it and how you feel. If they have been married for a long time its not so easy to just walk away like he was never there. you bond and get wonderful relationships going.
    Shelii

    Answer by Shelii at 8:49 AM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • Just tell her that you will not choose, that your intent is to remain friends with both of them. If there is any choosing to do, it will be hers. I love it how people try to put the responsibility for their behavior on somebody else. I also hope you have told her what a big mistake she is making in letting this man get away.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:58 AM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • Yes, she knows how I feel about her leaving him, I'm sure she's going to wake up one day and realize she made the biggest mistake of her life. I would give ANYTHING to find someone who loves me, supported me, took care of me and treated me the way he treated her, and not to sound bitter, but I spent 5 years of my life taking care of my husband and supporting him (finanically and emotionally) through every crazy scheme and excuse he used for not working, and guess who is alone right now? Thats right....ME. She hasn't been alone since before she left her husband, why is it that some women can just get a man with no effort? She met my neighbor...MY NEIGHBOR....my single good looking neighbor and now they are dating...doesn't seem fair does it?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:20 AM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • I am divorced and for the sake of my children, I have encouraged an ongoing relationship between my ex and my family. So...no...I don't think she should make you choose.
    RNsteph

    Answer by RNsteph at 11:24 AM on Jun. 17, 2009

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