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lost my "sex drive"?

I see this posted a lot... I am 14 months post partum. I can't trace back to when I lost my "hmm i'm horny" feeling, but last night SO and I had sex, it felt good don't get me wrong, but I didnt feel "horny" before engaging in it. never really do anymore. is this common after having a baby? but what about this far post partum? I still find SO very attractive and I feel bad if I say "i'm not horny" because he questioned it a while back and i felt so bad since I didn't have an explanation other than "I don't know...i'm just not horny..."

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:55 PM on Jun. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • You are taking care of a baby.You are just tired.And sex has become just another chore.It gets better .

    Answer by evelynwest at 1:56 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • well yes I certainly do feel exhausted at the end of the does SO because he works in the heat all day. I just feel...weird. i mean is tere something blocking those horny signals to my brain or something? LOL is it really the "simple" matter of being tired?

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:59 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • It is possible your just tired from taking care of your lil ones all day and all you want to do is rest, because at that age they seem to tire you out more.

    Answer by vgiron at 2:00 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • I think it's probably pretty normal. I didn't have a sex drive for a long time after having my kids. Part of my problem was that I just wasn't attracted to my ex anymore, but I couldn't get turned on even looking at a really hot guy that I was attracted to. Kids are exhausting, and they cling to you and touch you all the time, so it is hard to want to be touched by yet another person. You said it felt good when you did it, so I wuoldn't be really concerned. If it hurt or just didn't feel good, then I'd be more concerned. It does go away.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 2:00 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • I'm 2.5 years post partum and I still have no drive. It's one of the reasons my husband and I are in sex therapy. Our therapist has assured me that this is pretty normal. Most women find that as their stress levels go up, we tend to not want anything to do with sex. Kids tend to make the stress levels go up.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:01 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • It happens...i go through stages..and i agree with PP your tired..and over all else..Sex ends up coming in last!! some women can do without sex more often than men...its easier for us to put it aside. if it keeps up and gets worse i would mention it to your doc, could be hormone imbalance!!!.....GL hunni....

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 2:01 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • ok so i know it can be the kids but,...

    i lost mine with my anti depressants and also my mirena if you use one of those?

    also i saw something on dr phil i believe like a yr ago about how it can be an imbalance in your hormones that makes it all jsut dissappear. esp after the baby, maybe they didnt go back to normal. if its really bad and you are concerned i would talk to your dr. al they have to do is a simple blood test to find out, and if it is then they can fix it! Good luck

    Answer by RhiannonHunt at 2:03 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • wow yes I have been a little stressed, but kinda suppressed it. this could be mentally affecting my sex drive without any knowledge...interesting! BTW i'm glad i'm not the only one lol

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:05 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • what would the blood test test for? a hormone imbalance? interesting! I'll keep that in mind!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:10 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • that's common in most women after having babies, who know's how long it last? i have a two yr old. and truthfully as much as i love and enjoy sex with my hubby i can do with or with out most of the times. try to relax and have a calm day (i know almost impossible) however, give it a try, get yourself in the mood by taking a really hot bath with candles (and w /drink if you engage) ofcourse after the baby is asleep and while in the tub, (soft music won't hurt) relax and imagine the best "O" you've ever had, if your not to shy touch yourself, and enjoy the feeling you gave yourself, after that put on something that makes YOU feel SEXY, go around your man and get turned on by the way he looks at you and lust for you, make love in a different place. this is one of my favs, go out side in the rain and make-love. it's raining here in Michigan, so guess what i will be doing later.

    Answer by mememommie at 2:14 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

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