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Would you pay off your SO's Debt?

My fiance didnt pay bills like he shouldve for a couple of months and now needs some money and I am already helping out by paying one bill that we usually split, so that helps him out by like 75-80 dollars a month but he acts like that is nothing, he expects me to hand over a few hundred each month so he can catch up on his bills, I told him no, that he is the one that didnt pay the bills like he should have and he gets allll pissed at me. Tells me that he will never help me out again(I always pay him back in a week or two) and that he wont sign for a car when i go to get one, wont fix anything on my car so I have to pay a shop, he went and just full out bitched when I told him no, that I am helping him out with the 75 dollars a month. Am I wrong to do this? Should I be helping him pay it even though its all his fault? and they arent my bills, its all his credit cards and cell phone, stuff like that...

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Asked by Awing10 at 2:03 PM on Jun. 17, 2009 in Money & Work

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Nope. His bills, his problems.

    If it were something like he got hurt & had an outragious ER bill or something to that effect -- unavoidable & he really NEEDED the help, that would be one thing.

    But this? Compounded by him just "expecting" you to cover his @$$?? Nope, don't think so, buddy!

    Answer by Laura1229 at 2:08 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • See you said id say NOPE!! dont feel obligated to pay his debt. One of the main reasonss marriages fail is because of finances, it seems like you may not make it the the wedding if he keeps up the drama and irresponsibilty!! you handle your finances...and let him try to fix it himself. Try to help him find ways to catch up.....

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 2:12 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • I wouldn't pay his bills in this circumstance. I think if you did, then in the future, he would expect you to bail him out at other times as well. (Trust me I know from personal experience). But on the other hand, if you could sit down and talk with him about better financial planning and making a committment to handle money more responsibly, then maybe helping him wouldn't be such a bad idea. Only if he promises to change.

    Answer by Moonlite_Angel at 2:26 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • For my husband, I would. When he was just my fiance, I would not.

    Answer by KennsWifey at 2:36 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • His bills - definitely his responsibility. Now as for his attitude... I might have to reconsider spending a life with someone who throws that many threats out just because he didn't get his way.

    Answer by PaceMyself at 2:39 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • It's not your responisibility to fix his problems, and if you do it this time he'll expect it every time .. and then it only gets worse from there! He'll become even more irresponsible with his money leaving you to pick up the pieces later.. like if you guys get married..

    Answer by Mommy2seven at 2:41 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • It doesn't sound good. If you are getting married you should be able to share all the bills for both of you. Statistically most fights in a marriage is over money. So I say its not a good start. My husband and I both had bills prior to our marriage and we just took care of them together. If you guys can not find a happy ground now when it comes to money I don't think you ever will. Good Luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:51 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • i would and i have. when you are in a relationship you help each other out. if you are going to get married you have the rest of your lives to help each other when you need it. and when you get married his bad credit is going to follow you so maybe you should get rid of it now that you dont have to worry about it after

    Answer by Mommy2Mariah at 2:53 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • I would not marry him unless ALL of his debt it paid; otherwise your good credit will be hurt.
    Additionally, it sounds like the two of you have different relationships with money and finances; couples counseling is definitely in order before you marry.

    Answer by rkoloms at 2:59 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • You aren't married and it sure as Hell sounds like he is a big giant mooch and using you. I wouldn't be surprised if he let you pay off all his debt and pay his bills then when the money ran dry he left you. I've met many men like this. I'd cut the cord now if I were you. Why would you want to marry a jerk, control freak user like him?

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:18 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

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