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Is the child or parent responsible for calling?

Some background I have 3 sons. My oldest DS lives with his dad & step-mom in another state, my ex hubby & I have another son that lives with me & the 3rd son is my son with my new hubby.

Ok anyway my ex & his wife get all bent that for 1. my oldest DS does not call them everyday when he is away from them and 2. that our other son does not call them on a regular basis. They rarely ever call the boys, did I mention that each boy has his own cell phone that I pay for so that ex and his wife do not even have to bother calling through me they can call the boys direct. I call my oldest DS every day when he is not here, I do not expect him at 12 to remember to call me. I remind the boys to call their dad but do not force it. Their dad & step mom get so pissed that they do not call them 12yo gets yelled at!
The boys are 12 & 11 so am I wrong in thinking the parent should be the one responsible for making sure they call their kid?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:06 PM on Jun. 17, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (7)
  • They're kids. I think that if the parent specifically stated that they wanted the kid to call every day or whatever, then the kid should do it, but otherwise, it's up to the parent to make that call if they want to talk to the kid. If my kids were away from me for more than an overnight at the grandparents, I would be the one calling them, not waiting for them to call me. I know they'd be too busy having fun wherever they are to be bothered with calling me.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 2:12 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • He is 12 yrs old, the father and step mom need to call if they want to talk to him. 12 year olds barely remember to shower let alone call someone.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 3:28 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • I had this issue with my ex. He would get so mad that she wouldn't call and I didn't make her but he refused to call her more. I would ask her if she had talked to him and gently remind her occassionally but never forced the issue. But when she was there visiting I DID call everyday and he would be mad about that. I don't think you should force them to call. Ex should make the effort. Good luck!

    Answer by LCSHELTON at 4:21 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • OMG, I'm going through this now. YES, HAVE YOUR CHILDREN CALL!
    My ex WON'T let my son call me while he's visiting and it is very frustrating!

    Answer by Starfire73 at 6:12 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • Why in God's name is it the kids responsibility when each child has a cell phone dad can call?

    Answer by FLMomof3Boys at 6:19 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • It's the parent's job to call their kids, not the other way around.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:51 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • I do not force my oldest to call her bio dad, hell, I don't even remind her, she also has her own cell and her bio dad has her #, he calls her maybe ... once a week, when he remembers he has a daughter in another state. the one time I allowed her to go and stay with him for a couple of weeks, I was very clear with her, she HAD to call me every night before bed and she did, sure, I called her a couple of times through out the day too. there is absolutely no reason why I should tell my daughter to call him, she is the child, he is the adult, he's the one that needs to make the effort to have a relationship with her, not the other way around. I've had to remind her bio dad of that little fact every time he thinks he can bitch at me for her not calling him.

    Answer by suej27 at 12:50 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

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