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If a mother works a full-time & part-time job, & goes to school.....does that make her a bad mother?

Don't judge me.....Just give ur honest opinion and try to be respectful. This is the deal I have been taking care of my daughter since the day she was born...She has a daddy but he is a deadbeat. Now I do have my Child Support case pending but its been almost a year and I havent receive anything. In in that process I work a full-time job Monday-Friday (7-4) I will be starting school in August and I am looking for a part-time job becasue things are getting hard. I have been putting school off for at least 2 years and I am not about to backfire on that again. I need info from other moms that can relate to my situation and or ones that undestand what I am trying to do.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:13 PM on Jun. 17, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (6)
  • Doesn't make her a "bad" mother, just makes her a busy mother..you gotta do what you gotta do to take care of your family. A bad mother would just give up after all of that and neglect her kids. The goal you have here is to make a better life for your children and yourself.
    Apr1l

    Answer by Apr1l at 2:16 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • You should get enough financial aid to recieve a refund check each semester. i did, and i budgeted mine out to last a few months...if you do this, a part time job may not be necessary! However if you cant wait for it...then by all means do what u can to provide? i dont know why you would ask if that makes you a bad mom. i feel bad for you in your situation, because your going to miss so much, but youd miss alot more if you had to give your baby up to SS for not being able to provide the basic needs your working so hard for. by all means work on....GOOD LUCK!...and btw dont know what state your in but NC is soooo far behind on child support your baby will probably be outta high school before you see any money!
    sweetstkissez22

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 2:17 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • I don't think you're a bad mother at all. You're trying to further your education to make a better life for you and your daughter. How could that ever be considered being a bad parent? Just because you aren't there with your daughter 24/7 does not mean you do not love her or do your best to take care of her. You do what you have to do, and don't let anyone else get you down for it!
    kittyhasclaws

    Answer by kittyhasclaws at 2:18 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • I think you are very brave for wanting to take the steps to better your life not only for yourself but your family. While the ideal may be for the mother to stay at home with her children, it is simply not a reality for many mothers.

    Try and remember that this is a short term solution. Once you get your education, you will be able to make more money, and require less hours to make up the same amount. As you progress, you will have more opportunities.

    Motherhood is all about making sacrifices, and sometimes we have to ask our kids to make some, too. But in the long run, they will benefit.

    It sounds like you're feeling guilty. No matter what choice you make, you'll feel guilty. The question is, what is best for you and the kids? Is it really better for you to scrape by? Where will you be in 5 years if you don't do it?

    Good luck!
    Busimommi

    Answer by Busimommi at 2:20 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • I hope not. I had to do that bc I got no child support.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:24 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • I'm in the exact same situation you are, I work and go to school and rarely if ever get child support. Talk to your financial aid advisor about what scholarships/grants are available especially since you have a dependent. I've never paid for any of my school out of pocket, I always get a refund check, and I'm about to graduate with my bachelors degree and only had to take out 16,000 in student loans with 5 years of college. That's almost unheard of low debt in this day and age. With good budgeting you should be able to get by without getting that second job, you just have to work hard for the scholarships and actually talk to people. There's lots of financial aid out there, most people just don't know about it because they don't ask. The best advice I was ever given years ago when starting school as a single parent was "ASK!" Good Luck
    ba13ygrl1987

    Answer by ba13ygrl1987 at 2:34 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

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